Sunday, January 02, 2011
Have you ever gotten into your car to go somewhere and miss or almost miss your get-off, or turn because you are on auto-pilot to go to work? I have.
Have you ever gotten into bed and been unable to remember what you have done or been that day? I have.
Have you said things because what you say is automatic to an outside stimulus and then later felt that you could have done a better job of expressing yourself? I have.
Have you ever found yourself so overloaded that your feeling are hurt by the pressure of these outside commitments that you don't even remember agreeing to accomplish? I have.
I put something down and a second later I have no idea of where I put it. I am often going through motions of living without enjoying the fact that I am alive and able to do what I can do and think and love.
As I found myself asking these questions of myself I had to ask as well why do I care? Why can't I just laugh off the mistake of driving, go to sleep without thinking about the day, let the words fly out of my mouth without filtering, and get on with the task at hand and stop whining about how everyone expects so much of me and blah, blah,?
Well the fact that I ask these questions means that I am dissatisfied with something in my way of living. I am trying to be a person of prayer, so I want to give credit to that prayerlife for directing me to read authors that will give me direction. I have thus read some books by Father Richard Rohr and listened to some of his talks. He is promoting a concept that sounds so simple but I find difficult but very rewarding when I am doing it. The idea is that we need to live in the moment. We are capable of being conscious of what we are doing ,where we are, with whom we are relating and why.
There is much more to this, but I find that when I practice this I feel that I am more alive. As I read more and incorporate more of the concept into my life, I am sure that I will discover that living in the moment means a great deal more, but at this point in time I am working on being conscious of what I am doing at every moment. Perhaps I will at least be able to remember where I put the car keys Maybe I will be able to stop locking them in the car.
I wonder if this will help me stop unconscious eating and emotional eating?
I will see, won't I?