The Art of Extreme Self Care - Chapter 3
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Reflections on Chapter 3: Let Me Disappoint You
Well, I had two chances this week to practice this new skill of how to disappoint people "the right way." On the first occasion, I was able to do step 1 and 2, I waited and did a gut check. I was able to say "no" confidently, however I blew step 3 entirely and ended up lying to the other person about why I was saying "no."
I was still trying to protect the other person's feelings. I was trying to avoid their disappointment.
But the second chance came immediately afterwards, and I am pleased to report that I passed with flying colors!
I got the email requesting my availability. I gave myself time to think about whether it was something I wanted to commit to. I sat on it. I went to a quiet place and did some soul searching about whether this was truly the wise decision for my already overly scheduled life. I crafted a carefully written response stated that I was sorry for backing out on this commitment, but it was something I had to do for myself. And then I hit send, and let it go out to the Universe. And I got a very nice reply from the person saying that she completely understood, and it was fine.
It works! I am sure I will have PLENTY of other situations to apply this new skill to and it gives me confidence because now I know how to do it.
I am still doing "mirror work" (from chapter 2), and it's getting better. I even sorta look forward to doing it, like I am seeing an old friend in the mirror - instead of some weird relative that I only see once a year and who I don't relate to.