Saturday, January 01, 2011
In December I joined a new gym that is right around the corner from me, but I haven't gone as much as I'd like. I think, to be fair, that it was partially due to family and the holidays and partially due to my depression from my miscarriage.
I did find a support group www.sharingparents.org/i
that I'll be going to because I need folks who understand what I have been going through and I hope I'll get the help I'll need. Some days the grief is bearable, some days it isn't. Every cycle reminds me that I am not pregnant. And I wonder if it will ever happen.
But I'm going to see if I can pick myself up by refocusing on losing the weight to get healthy. I'm actually back to the same dress size that I was a year ago and I know it has to do with my eating and slow decline of exercise. 2010 has been an intense year on me with moving, a new job, a miscarriage, and new house. I didn't realize that I'd feel so beaten down by the end of it. If you would have asked me if this is how I'd have felt at the beginning of the year I would have laughed... at least I can still somewhat do that... laugh that is.
I have started taking the right steps. I started with a new trainer this past Monday and she seems like she will be good for me. She has even withstood a miscarriage. I actually started crying about it in front of her... so ridiculously pathetic but so it is. I need to get to the gym today and complete the workouts she gave me to do, which I was suppose to do on Wed. but another friend of mine found out that her baby may have Down Syndrome. Again 2010 has been rough.
Here goes nothing.