I'm having trouble with rewards... They just don't mean much to me... its all just stuff that either you need (so eventually you will buy it) or you don't (so really, why buy it?). I'm trying it, 'cause SP is so adamant about it, but so far no big thing... A book I wanted I got in October, but keep thinking, hmm I wonder if I could have gotten this at the library; A new christmas sweater for meeting my thanksgiving weight loss goal... but, it just didn't bring a glow-- more of a chore. Well, there was one reward.... My spouse went with me on a hike as my reward in November for losing 10% of my total weight. He was a great about it, although a little bored. He's a forester so being out in in the woods exploring 3 miles of trail on a rainy day lacked a thrill for him. I loved it. He'll go with me as "my reward" again, but really I'd rather have a regular hiking buddy who loves it as much as I do... So how do you pick rewards?
The best idea I can come up with is to take clues from my nonexistant motivational collage... Haven't done that yet, but that's the my goal for this week... What movtivates me to do this? Maybe when I get a clear picture of my true motivation, I'll see what my rewards are/should be.
Lately I feel like I'm going thru the motions, but why? I'm tracking and exercising... but why do we do this-- all this work?
I like feeling muscles.
I like stretching sore calves and tight hamstrings.
I like reading everyone's blog and cheering.
I don't really like walking in the rain around town or even tracking all my calories -- but I do these things... why?
I like that there is less of me.
I like being strong.
I like having better balance.
I have my spouses support because he sees me committed to getting strong enough to ski again -- but really the idea of me skiing is scary. Last time I tried I couldn't turn because of a bad ankle (now more or less fixed)... but its been 15 years... scary. Will I get off the bunny hill, or will I disappoint him? Do I care? I am eager to be on that damn bunny hill. But its been so long since I've been in "the game" and I can't help but feel perhaps the expectations of a partner on his black-diamond adventures will not accept the realities of a day on the bunny hill.
So maybe I want my reward to be a return to my old life with my husband -- one of activity. But you cant bring back 20 lost years of inactivity. scary.
All this was going through my head today.... It was a "thinking day". (I seem to need "thinking days" fairly regularly, as in at least once/week). "Oh, by the way," sez DH. "I ordered you hiking boots online." (I've been trying to get something firm with serious water protection and ankle support, but I'm such a weird size, no one has anything in stock for me to try on. I was going to try again in a bigger town after christmas.) "I ordered several sizes to check the fit. We can send back what won't work. You need to get boots to get out in the woods in this weather." ?!?
My best friend and true love understands better than I do why I'm doing this. I miss the woods. I miss being brave and exploring new trails. I joined a local hiking group that goes out once per month in all weather. DH wanted to make sure I wouldn't miss their next adventure -- He found on-line the out-of-stock boots I'd been looking for. He realized I need those NOW. Not a month from now. I always try to fit into the family schedule/budget -- expensive boots for me comes after the Cristmas bill have been paid. DH saw a different priority. Amazing how your spouse still can amaze you after 25 years together. I've always said you REALLY don't know someone until you've been married at least 15 years... he's still someone I'm getting to know. I like that.
I still will try to find "rewards". But I'm pretty content. I don't want anything. I have my DH, my home, my kids, and soon I'll have a good pair of hiking boots .... How do you pick rewards? Any suggestions. Is it REALLY that important? Thanks.