Hmmmm...where to start....
Well most of you who were following my blogs, you will notice that I disappeared for quite some time.
I had a family crisis that turned into a blessing in disguise.
The first 1/2 of the year - I was so consumed with co-dependency that I could not concentrate on fixing myself - I was too consumed with fixing my alcoholic, drug addicted husband. I love him with everything I am - and I felt like he was killing himself and I had to do something about it - and when I say I was consumed with this - I mean my EVERY thought was worried & frazzled about what to do!!! I didn't realize at the time that this "worried, obsessive, frazzled feeling was an illness in and of itself...it's called codependency.
Somewhere around mid-July my husband and I both hit "rock bottom". I was ready to leave - and he was ready to get help. He admitted himself to detox - and I thought everything would be better - but I got worse! I obsessed about where he was - what was he doing? - was he drinking? - was he hanging around people who are drinking?....It was aweful. Someone suggested I go to an al-anon meeting...and I did.
I went to 2 actually. The 2nd one I shared my story. I guess fully expecting someone to tell me what to do about my husband. But one lady took me totally off guard when she told me that I was sicker than my husband - and that if I didn't "let go and let God" I would end up killing myself.
Outwardly I thanked her. But inwardly I was indignant and thought she had "no clue" what my husband was like. I didn't have the problem - HE DID.
Days passed and I could not get her words out of my head. Finally one night on a particularly bad day - I got on my knees and I prayed. I asked God to "help me" fix my life. I told him that I was sorry for anything I ever did wrong - and that I was going to try my best to change. I told him that I would do whatever he wanted - but he had to show me WHAT that was...
The next day - without me even mentioning my prayer to my husband, my husband suggested that he and I start attending church on Sunday's...
We did, our 2nd visit to church we met a man who GAVE US his Bible...and told us to read it. Was this God speaking to me through this man??? I thought so.
I started reading and my husband and I ended up getting baptized by submersion on 10/10/10.
We have been attending church regularly. I have been reading my Bible and even taking non-credit Biblical Bible courses to advance my knowledge in the Bible.
I was asked on Pastor appreciation day to give my testimony in front of the church congregation - which I was honored to do.
I am happy to say that I have turned all my worries over to the Lord my God and I for the first time in a long time have "peace" of mind...and it feels AMAZING.
My husband is clean & sober 5 months now...and I am so proud of him. Our marriage is stronger than ever and I feel like I have fallen in love with him all over again.
Christmas eve we went carolling with the church...it was SO MUCH FUN!!!
I think I am at a place in my life where I can finally now concentrate on "me".
I pray that all my Sparkfriends will come back and support me!
Love to you all!