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My Choices came With a High Price

Saturday, December 25, 2010

The price of my choices
Sometimes I just hate myself. That person that looks back at me is not the person she claims to want to be like. Words. Just words. Empty ones. Words without actions are worthless – worthless is the way I feel sometimes. I let things in my life overcome me. What I really want, is to REALLY WANT to be the person in my dreams, my visions, my hopes – to reach the high goals I set for myself. I know that once a burning desire is in a person’s soul, nothing gets in the way. I can look back and identify the stumbling blocks; the same ones that I did not overcome. Instead, I let them identify ME. I quit. Simply put, I did not fight back; choosing instead to make excuses and live overwhelmed. I believe that we are what we think about all day. The fruit of my life shows that my thought life is crap.

I want to be different. No. I HAVE to be different or nothing will change. My son’s favorite term to describe stellar success in school is “beasted it!” A beast conjures images of a powerful force that will not be stopped. Put that into a human body, I see a warrior – a Viking-type that kicks ass and takes names. (Old venacular from my younger days) I have decided that I am fighting back. I have to say that to myself again. I HAVE DECIDED TO FIGHT BACK! No longer will I just hang back because it is too hard, too hot, too cold, too far, too windy, too sunny, too rainy, and too heavy. I am sick to death of being in this place ALWAYS. With all my heart I want a sizzling, scorching, scalding, driving desire to rise above the mediocrity that has become my life. I will dwell on the thoughts of those strengths that I covet. I will be strong, determined, resilient, and unwavering.

The star that guides me: 2011 – The Year I BEASTED!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I LOVE it!
    2129 days ago
    Don't HATE yourself for being human! Everyone has *those moments*. Accept them, accept YOURSELF ~ then correct them ~ BEAST THEM! Life is difficult enuf without us giving ourselves dosages of negative self talk. The earlier we learn this in life, the better we'll be to ourselves during the journey.

    Remember: *What matters most is how you see yourself*. I see the lion in you... Do you???
    2131 days ago
    Excuse me, how did you get into my head? I've never even met you! lol

    You're not alone in your feelings.
    2131 days ago
    Awesome! You're beastin' it!
    2131 days ago
    Amen to you! I need to get my desire back. It is gone---totally. If I become my thoughts--then I'm a loser. I will read this over and over and over and over.
    Good luck to you. I know that you will be the BEAST!!!
    2131 days ago
    WooHoo! you are so right on! so many times in the past, and often in the present, i have told myself that i want to be successful at "X", but have been just plain old too stinking lazy to do the work associated with it.
    just yesterday i was dragging my butt to get outside and run. i have a half marathon in April that i really need to train for. i whined and fussed around for an hour putting off the run. once i got out there and did it, i was so glad i did. it wasn't so cold or windy. i was just being lazy!
    Thanks for voicing my faults!!
    2132 days ago
    emoticon Stay optimistic and give yourself 5 minute pep-talks they are a lifesaver. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2132 days ago
  • GRACIE1232
    Its never too late to pick yourself up
    2132 days ago
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