I’ve always had this little nagging question in the back of my mind…would I track my weight after a gain? There was a part of me that didn’t want to admit that I’d gone off track and so I thought that if I kept my little weight ticker in the same place, it would serve as motivation to get back to that number.

This morning I had my first weight gain since September. I’ve been complaining for weeks that I haven’t been really motivated and I’d stopped tracking my food because I just didn’t feel like being bothered. Well now I’ve gained. Blessing in disguise? All I know is that when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw that I’d gained weight, I suddenly felt very motivated to get back on track. There’s nothing like a weight gain to remind you that you’re still learning and the weight can come right back!

I’m really proud of myself for not feeling defeated and taking this weight gain in stride. I’m proud that I tracked my gain and owned up to it. I’m proud that I’m motivated to keep moving forward and that there’s not even a tiny part of me that wants to give up.

I know where I went wrong during the last couple of weeks. Maybe I’d gotten complacent believing that I’d managed to break years of bad habits in just a couple of months. I know that I was drinking way too much wine at the holiday parties I’ve been to and that I didn’t approach them with a set plan of attack. I know that I slacked off on tracking my food for the last couple of weeks and I know that I only exercised one day last week.

Knowing that I’m going to have to be mindful of what I eat for the rest of my life is a hard pill to swallow but I’m committed to being mindful. I know what the alternative is and I don’t care to go back to living that way again. I’ve felt in control of my body for the first time in a very long time.

I can do this.