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Finding my way back..

Monday, December 20, 2010

No excuses, lots of regrets and lots of wasted time. Reality is hard to face , but one day you wake up and say..What the H*** have you been doing. I had this moment for the second time in my life. The first one was back in '95 when after a fight with a long distance boyfriend I went out and bought a 6 pack of beer. Beer me..I hate beer but what the heck. After drinking 3 cans I looked in the mirror and said in a loud voice.. What The "F" are you doing?? Do you want to wind up like Mommy?? That is when I decided to quit drinking all together. As an Adult Child of an alcoholic, facing reality is hard some times. But I am sober 15 years.
Today is the 2nd time I got this wake up call. I have been away and making all kinds of excuses. It is a beautiful time of the year and a new year is coming. oh sure I could wait till 2 more weeks.. but no way not putting it off any long. How many January 1sts has it been??/ Way to many to count & not about to add another one on. I am here starting a new with blinders on ,so not to look back. No more woulda, shoulda, coulda. How how many times that was a mantra that I realize now was forsetting up a failure.
No more negative talk to myself. It is easy to do and I am sure we all do it. One kind word a day to me, then two , then three & finally a full sentence. I think I can do that.
How many times have we all put ourselves last? Somebody or something always took president. It is ok sometimes, but not everytime. We all have so much to contribute & so much to give to this big wide world of ours.
Hmmmm maybe I will say this too.. I am worthy & have lots to contribute..Yup that is right.. I am worthy & have something to contribute.
No more stuffing feelings with food.. No more rationalizing that extra piece of pumpkin pie.. ahhh one more & I will add Fat Free Cool whip.. Now that goes on the list of Jan. 1sts. Not just pumpkin pie. Oh I will cut that slice of pizza in half.. Oh Yea especially being Italian..
Reality checks can make you laugh sometimes & that is good. Laughter burns calories too, Right??
Well this is me, and here I am. We are all on different roads but have the same destination on our map. If I see you on your road or when the roads cross I will wish you a safe and successful journey & I hope you will do the same for me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Welcome back, Donna!!! Wonderful blog. I know I have said most of these same words before. When we falter, we just have to forgive ourselves as we would our friends. Guess what.....WE ARE WORTH IT!!! WE CAN DO IT!!!
    Best of luck to you on your journey to the healthiest you can be.
    Blessings and hugs,
    2616 days ago
    Welcome back and you can do this!!!
    2619 days ago
    Yep, laughter is some of the BEST medicine. You can do it and you have friends here to help you on this journey. We all falter but we just keep forging and not look at it as a setback. We have to fall a few times before we get it, just like learning to ride a bike.

    Happy Holidays!!
    2620 days ago
  • SUNNYH99
    Donna, I am very glad to read your blog and see you here and getting back on track. It is hard, but so well worth the effort, to begin to take care of ourselves, REALLY take care of our selves. My sponsor calls it "enlghtened self-interest," rather than "selfishness" when it comes to better boundaries, healthier decisions, better adherence to our values. I am proud of you! Let me know how I can help.
    emoticon emoticon Sunny
    2620 days ago
  • DANLIN60

    Great to see you back and YES you can do it. Make sure that you post here EVERY day so we can give you the support you need. Be part of our wonderful family and feel the love we share. Talk to soon

    2620 days ago
  • CHRYS13
    Absolutely! I'm here to wish you a safe and successful journey!
    We're here to support each other, that's for certain!
    Great blog, Donna....wonderful to "hear" from you!
    2620 days ago
    I'm glad you are back. Most of us (I know I have) lost our way and had to come back. It isn't an easy journey, but I always told my kids. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. And we are definitely worth the fight.

    Have a wonderful day.
    2621 days ago
    Donna, it's great to see you back! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2621 days ago
  • WILLOW49
    2621 days ago
  • 51NFIT
    Very well put. So many of us could have written these same words.

    Good luck on your jouney!
    2621 days ago
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