Finding my way back..
Monday, December 20, 2010
No excuses, lots of regrets and lots of wasted time. Reality is hard to face , but one day you wake up and say..What the H*** have you been doing. I had this moment for the second time in my life. The first one was back in '95 when after a fight with a long distance boyfriend I went out and bought a 6 pack of beer. Beer me..I hate beer but what the heck. After drinking 3 cans I looked in the mirror and said in a loud voice.. What The "F" are you doing?? Do you want to wind up like Mommy?? That is when I decided to quit drinking all together. As an Adult Child of an alcoholic, facing reality is hard some times. But I am sober 15 years.
Today is the 2nd time I got this wake up call. I have been away and making all kinds of excuses. It is a beautiful time of the year and a new year is coming. oh sure I could wait till 2 more weeks.. but no way not putting it off any long. How many January 1sts has it been??/ Way to many to count & not about to add another one on. I am here starting a new with blinders on ,so not to look back. No more woulda, shoulda, coulda. How how many times that was a mantra that I realize now was forsetting up a failure.
No more negative talk to myself. It is easy to do and I am sure we all do it. One kind word a day to me, then two , then three & finally a full sentence. I think I can do that.
How many times have we all put ourselves last? Somebody or something always took president. It is ok sometimes, but not everytime. We all have so much to contribute & so much to give to this big wide world of ours.
Hmmmm maybe I will say this too.. I am worthy & have lots to contribute..Yup that is right.. I am worthy & have something to contribute.
No more stuffing feelings with food.. No more rationalizing that extra piece of pumpkin pie.. ahhh one more & I will add Fat Free Cool whip.. Now that goes on the list of Jan. 1sts. Not just pumpkin pie. Oh I will cut that slice of pizza in half.. Oh Yea especially being Italian..
Reality checks can make you laugh sometimes & that is good. Laughter burns calories too, Right??
Well this is me, and here I am. We are all on different roads but have the same destination on our map. If I see you on your road or when the roads cross I will wish you a safe and successful journey & I hope you will do the same for me.