Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I have internet now and I can't even talk myself into coming here to check in. I have been eating but not as bad as I have in the past, what worries me most right now is that my chair has taken on the shape of my ass. I don't move and that is really getting to me. I lost all the progress I had made although I am still able to sleep in my bed. my breathing has gotten worse and walking and standing has gotten hard again. I know I need to exercise but I don't. I don't have a job and had to sign up for food stamps. I haven't even left the house very often. I need to do at least one thing to try to get back on the horse so I decided to start here. I am going to try to come back here every day and write again. I know it will help my head space and hopefully my body space too.
My new apartment is lovely though and one other thing it does is it forces me to look at myself in the mirror. I have four closets with sliding doors and the doors or big mirrors. There is one across from me in the living room and one just outside the bathroom door and one in my bedroom as well as my kids room. No matter where I go in my home there I am staring back at me. It makes it harder to ignore my problems. Yet somehow I still am.
Hopefully I will get back here daily. I need to work my self out of this head space and get it back together.