Friday, December 10, 2010
Frankly, I would have given up a long time ago. If I was dependent on the encouragement I get from others around me, things would be empty indeed. Its hard to imagine drawing strength for a sometimes insanely difficult journey from people I have never met. Sometimes I have to ask myself why in the heck do I put myself through this? I have devoted the last 2 1/2 years of my life to doing the impossible. Transforming myself from a see-food-eat-it kind of guy to someone who has faith, passion, and the will to see this change to its conclusion. Where did that strength ever come from?
Where were the people that were so "concerned" about my health and well being? they had plenty to say before, well, where are you now? My drive doesn't come from them, as far as I am concerned, they don't even exist. I quit telling my friends about what I am doing, I love 'em I guess, but we are not on the same page.
What would my life be without Sparkpeople, these goals of mine, and you? I seriously believe I would be the same, self-centered, stuck in a rut, middle aged washout that I was before. No vision, no passion, no drive. Just going from one good time to another.
With Sparkpeople, my running / fitness goals and you, I am proving to myself that it isn't too late to do something real that I can be proud of. I don't have to be what I was, the die is not cast, I can indeed change. That I am not 41 and set in my ways but I am capable of doing something big, drastic, aggressive, daring to be a little out of place for the average Blue Collar shift worker. I would hate to think that at 41 I am unable to dream big, reach for something a little radical, and show the world what I am made of. What a sad life it would be indeed if my life revolved around just making it through another shift in one piece.
Losing weight and remaking your life is not for cowards. It has taken all that I have and demanded more. To make it this far and to go further, it has to be more than a part time affair of convenience. There are days I DO NOT WANT TO WORKOUT!!! Thats when I'll get a note from a Sparkbuddy or a text message, something encouraging or a positive comment. Then I get out of the rut and do something and that momentum is what I need.
I am rambling but thats ok, its my blog.
I dont have alot of face to face support so I rely heavily on Sparkpeople. My family is on board and thats a HUGE plus but you will never rise higher than the company you keep. I need people that are stronger than I to keep me reaching and thats what I get here.