Friday, December 03, 2010
before i begin i will say i would not do this outside or at home if we have visitors.this is only for when i am at home alone or with my family.but as i need this more at home it is perfect.when you are outside and you feel like eating i find it is easier to control than inside.inside the food is there easily accessable,often there is no one around to see what or when i eat apart from ayman and he tells no one,when out i am usually with the older kids or my husband and because of my sons allergies he canīt eat te chocolate and biscuits etc like my other kids so i feel i canīt eat theese stuff either when he is around.or the food outside is not halah or when it is i havenīt usually got the money to buy it so you see it is easier outside to have more controll than at home.
right that being said i bet you are asking ,what is it?what is this fabulos help than can keep even me,karen away from chocolate at times(notice i said at times their is always the odd time when nothing or no-one can stop the chocolate urge.)those who suffer from this urge kniw what i am talking about.well it is pretty simple really.i have started to wear really,really tight fitting tops that really show everything i have so to speak.not only does it show how far i have come,how much i have lost it also shows how far i still have to go.no more hiding my rolls of fat any more.no not me,not me sir. not when i am home alone with my family.for the other times i still wear the baggy ,cover me all,make me look fatter while hiding my fat roll type of clothes.once again those who wear them know exactly what i am talking about.so everytime i feel like eating something i go look in the mirror in the hall.do you know what the first thing i see now when i look in the mirror?if you said my rolls of fat you would be wrong.surprising isnīt it!i see how thin i am.i know i canīt be officially thin at 217lbs but when you was 330lbs believe you me at 217lbs you feel thin.so horray that the first thing i see now is that i am thin.it is a good feeling that i donīt want to loose.then after that i start to look deeper and more objectively then i see the rolls of fat still there on my hips and belly,they are smaller but they are still there.after this i think and ask myself is it worth eating whatever it is and to undo all i have achieved.mostly the answer is NO and i will have nothing or a drink of water and if i am still hungry after a drink i will eat something healthy instead.when the answer is yes(this answer is coming fore less and less,dare i tempt fate and say that?)then i have a bit of what i want not all then go back and look in the mirror and ask myself if it is worth it.i repeat this process as often as it takes to either get a no answer or untill what ever the food i wanted is finished.but at least if i eat it i am eating slower this way than i usually would.
hope this could be something for some of you to try it is really helping me but what is helping me the most and proves to me i am now on the right track so to speak is that i see myself as thin now not fat.feeling fat helps no-one least of all yourself as it can lead to dissatifaction and depression which can lead to emotional/binge eating.maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel after all and maybe i am nearing it faster than i thought i would.