It's been quite a while since I last blogged - over a month, at least. In fact, I haven't been doing much on SparkPeople at all in that time, other than to track my food and exercise. What drove me away?

I realized that I was spending 30 to 40 minutes, sometimes more, everyday obsessing over every little thing on SparkPeople. This is a tendency of mine, to get really excited about something, to over do it, and then to get bored. So, I just got to the point where I was sick of it, of the teams, of the blogs, of the points.

At first, my absence didn't really affect me that much. I continued to faithfully log my food intake and my fitness minutes. I continued to do a weekly weigh-in. I continued to lose weight. As of last weigh-in, I was at 194 and couldn't be happier. I managed not to gain weight over Thanksgiving. So what's wrong?

Exercise. This past week has really been tough on exercise. I've had plenty of decent reasons, I suppose. People have been home more, disrupting my routine and usual exercise space (but why didn't I just close the door of my room and do it anyway?). The most legitimate reason has been that I've twice been so sore that even basic movement was difficult. Decorating the tree, I strained my calves trying to string lights around the top from a too-short step ladder. This prevented me from walking properly for three days (so, you know, dancing was kind of out, too). Then the day before yesterday, I started yoga again. It was the first time in far too long - ever since I injured my wrist in fact. The yoga was great; I felt more relaxed and my back didn't hurt for the first time in quite a while. However, yesterday I was again extremely sore - not the sort you can work through, but the kind where even breathing hurt. Wednesday is my usual exercise day, so I missed out on that.

This is why I've decided to at least start blogging again on SparkPeople. The blogging was always my favorite part of all the other stuff I did before. It gives me encouragement and motivation. Best of all, it provides me with a little bit of accountability. So today, I'm going to get up and do the exercise I missed out on yesterday. And, I'm going to do it again tomorrow on my usual day.

I'm terrified, that this week of non-exercise for good reasons could turn into weeks of non-exercise for nothing but excuses. I can't bear the idea of stalling on my weight loss when I've been doing so well. And most of all, I can't bear the thought of gaining anything back. I looked in the mirror last night and thought I was disgusting and fat. I haven't felt that way since I started on Spark People, and I'm certainly going to do my best to prevent myself from feeling that way again!