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Why do I allow him to continue hurting me.....

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I left my husband July 15, 2009 and he still is emotionally/verbally abusive to me. I depend on him to take our daughter to school in the morning and he is using that as a crutch for me. I just want him out of my life. He makes me feel horrible and I hate it. emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEEBEE75 11/28/2010 7:01AM

    I feel such sadness for women like you, and there are so many. My daughter was one, but she kept most of the bad stuff away from me. I knew something was wrong, but she wouldn't talk about it. She was trying to keep me from worrying. Her husband never hit her but his words and actions nearly destroyed her. After 27 years and her 2 children grown, she left him. Has since remarried and is happy. But I think she wishes she had left sooner.

Women and children are so preyed upon in this world. And yet I think women are strong and brave. They hold everything together.

So I wish you strength to endure and courage to continue on for your sake and your children.

Remember to pray for help. God is a God of love, compassion, and he cares deeply for each one of us.

Wishing you all good things in you and your childrens life.

Betty

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VDSHIELDS 11/24/2010 3:31PM

    I am overwhelmed by the support! Thank you all!!! emoticon

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LHACKING13 11/24/2010 12:27PM

    I was with my friend when she went through a horrible divorce from an emotionally/verbally abusive man. After a couple years and both have remarried he still makes her feel like crap any way he can. He manipulates the courts/custody with his lies and it is horrible. All I can say is do your best not to let it get to you. If he holds it over your head just let him know that's his kid too so he needs to help take care of her. You can also do like Sugarbaby60 said and try to adjust your work schedule etc. Hang in there and keep moving forward. He will not change because you left, but you can, you don't have to bow to his abuse any more! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BRANDIGIRL313 11/24/2010 5:37AM

    i hope it gets easier, you know, the techniques we use at sparkpeople are the same we apply to any goal we want to reach. find a way to incorporate your consistency values to this and every problem you face. i have just stood by on the message boards for detroit divas , never jumping in cause i am just not very social. but i keep my eye on you, because you are everywhere and your progress is amazing! now just think if you took 50% of that juice and put it on this situation. its different yes, but thats what problem solvers do-we MAKE IT FIT! i hope it get's easier- i really do. being good to yourself is good for your daughter.

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SUGARBABY60 11/24/2010 2:24AM

    You say you " left " him a year and half ago not divorced him a year and a half ago . so maybe this is why he still feels that you are " His " to continue to abuse.....something to think about. You do not NEED him to do anything for you . If it is a work schedule which prevents you from taking your daughter to school you might think about talking to your employer to adjust your schedule. or talk to the school and adjust the time your daughter can arrive at school. OR you could find other work which will accommodate your schedules. When my kids were little although I was an L P N I took work as a janitor and then as a Daycare helper to accommodate my 6 kids schedules being a single mom and all kids were under 8yrs. If I could do it with no support system I believe that you can too. You are worth it to have peace of mind and soul.

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LINDA_Z 11/23/2010 9:49PM

    My exhusband and I split up when my daughter was just 3 months old. I had moments when I thought of going back but never did, I knew we were better off on our own. My daughter is now 18 and off at university. it's not easy but you can do it!!! Remember some people use words to hurt others only to make themselves feel better. Easier said then done but just try to ignore it and remember where it's coming from.

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ELLEBE725 11/23/2010 7:57PM

    I wish you the strength to get through this ... you are a strong woman and a good mother!

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MSKITYOCAT 11/23/2010 7:54PM

  If you realize that he owns the bad behavior and his words are exactly that, Just words. You will find that his power to irritate you will disipate. Blessings to you

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CUPIDMIST 11/23/2010 7:49PM

    I am so sorry that you and your daughter are going through this right now. I also am a single mother, I left my husband after 20 years of marriage and moved across the country with my 2 small children, my youngest was 3. I'm not going to tell you it's easy to do it alone, it's not. I even had thoughts of going back to him but when those thoughts came up, I would remember what I would be going back to, and that was enough to make me go forward. My children are now grown, my youngest is not 16. I am so thankful that I didn't go back. Hopefully, you have people around you who will help and support you. Maybe a friend or family member can take your daughter to school or to meet her dad so you won't have to face him. Remember that we are here to help you all we can. I will be praying for you and your daughter. emoticon emoticon

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MOM2ACAT 11/23/2010 7:39PM

    emoticon

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HIFIVE06 11/23/2010 7:31PM

    i dont have an ex husband like that, but ih ave a mother like that....those people will never change, and they pray on the sensitive/emotional people that are around them. seriously, i hope that you find that strength to know that it takes a really, really sad, pathetic person to make another person feel bad for no good reason. BE STRONG!!! emoticon

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JODIJO14 11/23/2010 7:11PM

    You don't need him to help with your daughter. Lots of women do it alone. You have realized that and that's the first step! It's better for your daughter to see you happy alone than upset by seeing him everyday! emoticon

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LUVINGPINK 11/23/2010 7:10PM

    HUGS...I am sorry for the way you are feeling. Stay strong and push forward...

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