Tuesday, November 23, 2010
And not a move on the scale, but my pants are looser... as always a strange occurrence I can never really explain except that my butt is disappearing. I will return to this later...
As they say... in the last episode, you might recall that I called 3G dumb. Well since then, I called him many things, verbally to his person. Not mad, not in a fight, very rational in fact. What may have spawned this vocal opinion? Well let me fill you in on what a ginormous 6'5 jacka$$ he is.
So at some point, he texts me from another girl's house... after one of the world series games. Yes, you read that right. How nothing was going to happen, but he was to drunk to go home, etc. etc. I was kind of in a 'whatever' state of mind. He then followed up that night of randomness the next day by assuring me that nothing happened. Again, dude?! Seriously?! This is after you haven't seen or spoken to me much at all.
Eventually we go out again, because I am too nice for my own good frankly. I know it. It just happens. It continually bothers me btw that he walks in front of me on more than one occasion. I got to say, I make no real efforts in any of this. He is the one that calls me, texts me, messages me... I kind of went on this date to see how I really felt by seeing him in person. And I realize I was over it all.
Fast forward a few days and he is up in SF working on a production. I get a call at 1:30 AM (do you see the time?). I look at my phone, and I'm like wth, but I answer. (Did I mention I'm nice?) It is again 3G calling from where? You guessed it, another girl's house, only this time he has taken/smoked something he shouldn't have, gets all paranoid and freaked out climbing the walls, and of all the people and friends in the world, he actually has the nerve to call the other girl he occasionally dates. Again, dude?! Yet after having many of my friends in a drug induced haze, and dating a schizophrenic, I can handle the specifics... but it still amazes me. And my guilt would kill me if something happened and I hung up. So of course I talk to him. Eventually I get him to drink a ton of water, calm him down, and he goes to lay down. And then it gets worse.
The next day, he calls me. He had already apologized when he called last night, but this is of course more thorough. So why is it worse? Because it somehow becomes about how he feels not only sorry to me, but sorry to the girl he was on the date with last night and messed that up. So I somehow get cornered into therapist. At some point in these 2-3 conversations, each an hour+, I tell him he's stupid for being obsessive about a situation with a girl he just met and as he said, had not much interest in in the first place, is a jackass for doing something stupid and having to call me (grow up), and I also told him he was a jerk and another not nice word. He had actually said when I'm this, you have to tell me. I said, oh but you are. You are a total jerk and expletiv-ing expletive. He asked how... and then I told him. All of it. At one point he tried to get defensive. And I wasn't mad or yelling, and he had admittedly when pointed out done all of it, so he had no right to be defensive. And again, he apologized. And what do you think? He still calls... just at appropriate hours and is a lot more careful. I have not seen him since that one date. I've said it before and I will say it again, boys can be so dumb.
So what have I been doing in the meantime? Well, still talking to Sound Sculptor if you can believe it. We actually talked for about 4 weeks. And then I finally agreed to see him just last night for the first time since the freak out. He's so lovely in every way.... and it was nice to spend time with him. All the natural and fluttery rhythm of things. All the easy conversation returning. Even the easy silence. Maybe? Hopefully? I obviously like him... but he's having a rough time too. (job thing) Its going slow... very sweet. Not even a kiss last night. We shall see....
But I am happy with myself, which is most important. And we are back to my butt getting smaller. Happiness makes you thinner. I am in a new place (because I seem to move more than most and I am not even in the military lol). Job is great. Awesome friends. Head on straight. Maybe Sound Sculptor...
Life is good.