Friday, November 19, 2010
When I started working for a healthy lifestyle this year, I brought a plethora of false healthy living assumptions along with me. Chief among them was the belief that when my body became healthier, food would not be an issue that would weigh on my mind. Reaching my goals would cure my food addiction, right?
WRONG! I'm the healthiest I've every been and I think about food ALL the time. It's always there, from morning to night. It remains my faithful addiction.
I think of my food addiction as a monster. I spent many years denying its existence because I found it ugly, hurtful and shameful. It's a lumbering, noisy beast that I neglected openly because I didn't want to acknowledge it. I left it roaming loose everywhere it shouldn't have because I denied that I was responsible for it. And it wandered far and wide and spread destruction to not only through my life, but through the lives of my friends and family around me.
Finally I've realized that I own that monstrous food addiction. I'm responsible for those wild cravings. I'm responsible for the undesired results. And if I don't keep it in check, I won't have the healthy life I want for me and for those I love.
So now I work to control the addiction and cravings so they don't control me. So they don't "eat" at me. Instead of allowing it to wander dangerously, I have the addiction corralled behind the limits and barriers of planning out my food tracker in advance. Doing so focuses the attention of my addiction on the healthy meals and snacks I'm allowed in the day instead of whatever it feels like consuming, helping me make healthy decisions more often.
I still think about food CONSTANTLY. The addiction remains steady and loyal and very noisy. But that's okay, because it babbles about and craves the healthy options I've set out for it. I can look forward to savoring every bite of a new menu crafted with passion instead of mindlessly consuming whatever whim the addiction thinks it wants. I also get excited for the challenge of finding new healthy tastes and substitutions I've never tried before to give the addiction new information and treats.
By tending to it and caring for it, my monster of a food addiction is leashed, trained and mostly well-behaved. I just have to invest the daily effort to keep it that way.