Friday, November 19, 2010
I'm glad I said some things in my last entry that were helpful enough to have some of you respond. It has been said that we teach what we want to learn. Therefore, I plan to keep talking. I have lots of stuff I need to learn.
Are you familiar with Louise Hay? She is so wonderful. She has a web site and her books are available there as well as at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and most other book stores. I just finished reading, "You Can Do It." Actually, I just finished listening to the CD about 30 times and I have read parts of the book many times. Parts of it often run through my mind.
Louise says that when a baby has a need, it lets everyone know. It even lets everyone in the neighborhood know! A baby is not afraid to ask for what it wants. All those thoughts I have..."I'm not good enough...I want it too badly...I have bad luck...I never get anything right...if I get this I'll never ask for anything else again." With thoughts like these, who needs enemies? A baby doesn't wonder if it's deserving of food, care and love. The baby loves everything about itself. What if you were in bed and you looked down and saw your feet for the first time? Hmm, what are those? And, then, without giving it much (any?) thought, you find that you can move your feet--all the way to your mouth! Whoa! What fun! It's great fun unless someone comes by and uses a tone of voice you know means trouble and says, "Get your feet out of your mouth. How disgusting!"
Do you think you are disgusting? Do you need to act a certain way, look a certain way, live a certain way before you will love yourself? When I am thin, I'll like how I look and then I'll be pleased with myself and then I'll accept myself and then I'll love myself. Coming from that place, I believe self-love is far, far away and all we have to look forward to is lots of hard work and low calorie meals!
I know it sounds hard. Heck, it is hard. I am trying, too. It is hard to accept and love yourself right where you are right now. Who says you have to be a certain weight to be beautiful? Who says you have to look a certain way or dress a certain way? Do you find rules like these coming from the mouths of our mystical and religious leaders? Did Buddha say, "Be ye thin and then shall ye be loved." I don't think so.
If you believe in anything bigger than yourself; if you believe in a creative force in the universe; if you believe that, at some level, we are one, then is it not an insult to all of us to insult yourself, a part of the connected whole?
I want to work on this. I want to love myself. I want to stop my thoughts when the words are nasty and mean. I want to stop and replace those words with my truth--I am a part of the whole. I am made out of perfect stuff, whatever names one might choose to give anything. I have a Higher Power which loves me no matter what. The guidance I need is here. The love I need is here.
I am tired of obsessing about weight. I am tired of thinking that I am less than you because I weigh more. And, boy, am I tired of reading books about weight loss. I could not even hazard a guess as to how many diet books I have read. Each one was going to be IT! Yes, yes, oh it was so exciting. I put my faith in each one and, with each one, I had temporary success and then the same thing happened over and over and over...the definition of insanity. Oh, but I didn't want to stop. Surely, the next book that told me it would be the LAST diet book I'd ever need, would actually BE the LAST diet book I'd ever need!
Loving myself is the path to taking care of myself. Taking care of myself is the path to giving my body what it needs with love. I can brush my hair with love, fix my meals with love, dress with love, and I can bloom NOW and not try to do these things in the darkness of disapproval, hoping that, somehow, I can accomplish these things and then, somehow, achieve some acceptance.
So, let's not insult ourselves and each other any more. I shall tell myself that I love myself, that I am worth loving, that I am beautiful just the way I am. I will repeat that and repeat that and repeat that. And then, I'll smile at myself and I'll sing a happy song. In doing that simple exercise, I will be supporting you, too, because we ARE in this together-and I mean that in a bigger sense than whether breakfast was within our calorie range.
What have we got to lose? LOL, don't answer that!
Armed with my affirmations, I go in the bathroom and I look in the mirror. I smile. Gee, I don't look so bad. I say my affirmations and I say them with feeling. I say them with gusto. And then I sing one of my favorite happy songs. I made a list and then I got the lyrics online for some of them. I'm not done yet and some of them I don't even remember the title so I just have a snippet of a line.
Don't Worry, Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin)
So long as we have hands to hold (Grinch Christmas)
You can't hear the teacher with beans in your ears, but you can be happy if you've a mind to (Roger Williams or Miller?)
You are my sunshine
The sun'll come out tomorrow (Annie)
Sunshine on my shoulders (John Denver)
Never never land; happier thoughts, Michael (Peter Pan)
Here Comes the Sun
Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out long
Happy talk, keep talking happy talk (South Pacific)
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (My Favorite Things--Sound of Music)
The hills are alive with the sound of music (Sound of Music)
Somewhere over the rainbow
To life, to life, L'Chaim (Fiddler on the Roof)
Here Comes the Sun
When you wish upon a star
What you think about grows and, eventually, manifests. Turn your attention elsewhere for a while. Talk good talk. Sing happy songs. Laugh!