Wednesday, November 17, 2010
As of today, I've not only made my goal but I've lost nearly 2 more lbs..This has been an incredible journey, not just for my weight lost but for a bit of self-discovery as well. I learned I had some more trash that needed discarded and to the dump it went without a fight...I feel uplifted, happy all the time and I've found some self-confidence that I didn't know possible...I hold up my head now, I don't hide behind big shirts, sweaters and jackets..In fact, it could be freezing outside and I want to go without a coat..I smile all the time now and I look at mirrors and say to myself "yeah, that's me"..And the best part is, it is me...It's always been me, but I've kept myself hidden from everyone including me!
Now, this isn't to say that everyone has the same symptoms as I did but I imagine when one carries the amount of weight that I did, it does cause some deep issues to some degree. ...I never would have thought that shedding pounds could actually change how I feel and act daily. I never thought I wouldn't mind glimpsing in a mirror and I never thought I would ever have any self confidence but yet, those are the facts. It all happened simply by shedding weight.
When we choose to lose weight, we do choose a difficult journey but not one without it's rewards along the way, never mind the end prize....Others, who do not need or ever have needed to lose weight, truly don't understand what we come up against. They simply think it's a matter of how much we eat so eat less..It's not, it's a combination of many things including the fact that our metabolism don't work like theirs.
In saying this, I realize God created each of differently and yet in his eyes, we are perfect. However, though all of this, I have come to recognize that each of us, skinny or fat, big or tall, whatever; have demons that we must conquer..I think it's a form of learning survival....So my battle is weight...I've now fought it, won a huge battle and prepared for the war to keep it off.
I once had this extremely thin person I knew, tell me to my face, they would rather die than get fat. I was horrified to think that I really must be the lowest human on earth until one day it occurred to me, that is not what God had intended and I felt sorry for this person.....
Through my life, I've had numerous people mention weight and loosing in the same breath, when in fact, it wasn't them they were talking about..They thought somehow they were being kind in how they approached it as though I didn't understand who they were talking about, but the wounds still appeared. So, I hope that I have learned more than just how to lose weight..I hope that I have learned to be there when someone may need me to lean on through their own journeys and I hope that I have learned to be tolerate of people who are thoughtless in their words and actions...I try to never judge anyone by their cover, to see the pureness in their hearts and in their souls..I hope that by doing so, others will be a little more kinder as well. And I hope that when I find myself around negative people, I walk away because life is just too short...
Happy Wednesay Everyone!!