Problems with Nightime binges due to Emotional causes
Sunday, November 14, 2010
This picture represents an eating episode from earlier this year, March 2010. I am sad to say this pattern is continui9ng, has been off and on for about 6 years now, since I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Even years before that I have comforted myself with food. I have been depressed lately, my health always under scrutiny with ongoing medical tests due to chronic pain issues from my 3 bouts with cancer. I really need some encouragement, support to help me
this, it seems to be getting out of hand again. I don't like eating myself to sleep because life is painful and hard to deal with, that does not make me any stronger and life any easier to deal with. Right now, baby steps, God give me the strength to conquer this and give me friends, like angels to light my way.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Hi Inga, sorry for the late response, I didn't check my Sparkmail until today. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this and I can relate because I have the same problem. You would think that because we are breast cancer survivors we would have the resolve to conquer those cravings and temptations that can sabotage our health, but it's deeper than that.
Recently my doctor told me that my LDL level (... bad cholesterol) is higher than it should be, and I was given a diet to follow. This seems to be motivating me to stay the course; I am in my 2nd week of following this diet, but just yesterday, I ate something that was not on the diet and I know it was full of saturated fat! After I ate this meal, I made a promise to myself that although I know I will probably not be perfect 100% of the time, if I can eat clean and healthy for 6 days a week, if I eat a "LITTLE" something of what I like on day 7, it's ok... But the way I do this, to make sure I don't over indulge and undo all of the good I did for the week, is... 1.) eat this treat when I am out and don't bring any of it home - OR - 2) buy a portion of what I want and bring it home, that way it is "portion controlled" and I won't be tempted to binge on it... "SWEETS" being my Achilles heel!
I also have a problem with eating in the late evening and this is real a struggle for me. I love popcorn and although I pop it without any added oil, I tend to eat a lot of it, and I always seem to crave it around 8 - 9 PM, and I just at at 6:00 or so... another Sparker gave me a tip to "drink a protein shake when I get this craving", and I tried it... "it worked"... the shake is just around 100 calories, 0 fat, and 18 - 25 protein grams. If you want more information on it let me know.
Try to find substitutions for the things that you crave... I am working on this now. For instance, for Thanksgiving I love sweet potato pie, but you know how rich it is, so I am going to make my own version, minus the pie crust, using Smart Balance enriched Omega-3 margarine, sugar substitute, pan roasted pecans and non-fat whipped cream to substitute for it. The same with my stuffing/dressing, instead of all the butter, I am going to use more chicken stock (fat free) and a limited amount of Smart Balance margarine for moisture...
Inga, ... you have conquered worse things than this. It will take time, but like you said "baby steps" and know that I and your other Spark friends and sisters in "Pink" will be here for you as you have been a constant support for us. I love you, and I want the best for you...
If you need help and want to talk, you know that you can call me, I will give you my number again; call me any time... I mean it. Hang in there and take it one day at a time, forgive yourself and don't dwell on what you have done, but instead, strive for balance and consistency not perfection!
Take care my friend... ~ Dee
2408 days ago
Comment edited on: 11/21/2010 9:36:14 AM
My sincerest thanks to all of you who posted on my blog, helping me, supporting me and giving me suggestions. I take everything you told me to heart, I know I need to clear my mind of some very horrible past experiences with people who I thought loved me, but there actions wounded me to an unbelievable point of pain, my cancer pained me, leaving me sick so often and like a burden. I am glad I reached out and it will get better I believe that. Hugs, My very Dear Friends.
2413 days ago
All the lovely people who responded to your blog have expressed my feelings better than I could. You are not in your boat alone. God give us all the strength to meet life's challenges and come out on top.
2413 days ago
Inga, you are not in this "boat" alone, truth be told, I am prone to the same self destructive actions in the evening!! (did you have to put samoas in your picture, they are way too good to pass up!!)
We all love you and are here for you, praying for strength and wisdom in how to handle this, you have been through so much, please don't get discouraged about this small weakness!!
Big, huge virtual hugs to you girl, we LOVE you!!
2414 days ago
Inga, I have always thought of you as such a strong person, to have gone thru 3 rounds of cancer, and still be as upbeat as you seem to be. You've taken the first step, by reaching out to all of us. We all have that problem at one time or another. "What's past is past". Put your bingeing in your past. When the urge to do it again hits, go do something- take a nice bubble bath, go pick on your son, go for a walk, even if it's just around the yard. Pick up a good book. Do you knit or crochet? Start a project, and call it your snack time...when you want junk food, go work on your project. I love Greg's idea of the mirror! I think one is going to join the BIG red NO that's on mine now. I don't do it every night, but sometimes when I'm looking for a healthy snack to keep my blood sugar level thru the night, I do find, and eat, things I shouldn't... We ALL do it. Keep a journal, writing down how you are feeling when you want to eat- bored, tired, bored, lonely, bored....you get the idea! You may find a pattern. YOU CAN DO THIS! We're all here for you, anytime. Hugs, and love, Joy
2415 days ago
Inga, I know what you mean about comfort food and the roller coaster ride on eating. I'm also on that ride because of stress starting agian with husband. Things go fine them WHAM! Iget to feeling totally worthless and if it wasn't for my mom and cat....
I know you're a strong person and even strong people need help so just call and I'll be glad to come over, we can go for coffee or a walk before it really gets cold.
Take care sweet friend & prayers for you,
2415 days ago
You have made a very important step forward Inga by sharing.Emotional eating in all it's forms is our way of comforting ourselves from worry loneliness fear.It's so easy to slip in to the habits that protect us from the world or so we feel.
We don't have to face the world alone but it's easy to convince ourselves that if we ask for help we are weak. Many times we ask for understanding,reassurance or love and get rejected so we begin to be afraid to reach out in case we get shut down yet again.We emotional eaters tend to feel that if we don't let anyone help us then they can't hurt us..yet ....if we open up just a little and take a chance here and there we learn that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and then we can begin to take the steps to break the cycle.
Step by step Inga you are going to spread those wings and give them a test flight.You are worth it.. now it's time to believe it.
I'm so proud of you for taking the first and most important step ..reaching out !
Love hugs and prayers
2415 days ago
Inga - I too have been on a roller coaster with eating as of late- it hits every day at 3PM or after my workout....I think its a control thing..It started right around Halloween and I know why - I don't want to do meds...so if I sabotage myself and gain back weight it will be the meds fault then I won't have to take them...that's me!! .You too have been through sooo much - I mean 3 bouts of cancer. Eating may be the only are of your life right now where you feel in control and need a little comfort....talking to someone may be a good idea. Is there a nutritionist, or WW or even a buddy who is close to you that is also a bc survivor that you can call and talk to you or make arrangements to walk together...sometimes just having someone to check in with helps!! We are all here for you and having had a lot of conversations with other team members as of late we all seem to be struggling with this area...maybe as a team we need to come up with some sort of check-in thread to help each other out.
2415 days ago
Inga ilove you and you know i am always here for you when you have that urge no matter what time it is please call me???? im your number one supporter :)
Hang in there!!!!!
Love & Supporting Hugs
2415 days ago
Inga, so much has been happening in my life that I haven't taken the time to eat right. The bingeing you're talking about is very familiar! Always before when I got in this situation, I looked for lots of inspiration...I would put up a picture of me skinny and a picture of me fat on the fridge, I would listen to old music that reminded me of fun times when I was skinny. But I finally realized that the easiest way to get inspired was to be like the Nike logo: JUST DO IT. That's my inspiration this time!
2415 days ago
Oh Inga, I am so sorry you are going thru all this, but it takes alot of guts to post a blog and tell people what you have done! You are in my prayers, girl! I have been doing the same thing-eating for comfort due to some depression going on over some things that have happened recently. If there is anything I can do let me know..I'm here for you. Just keep reaching out to your sparkfriends. Are you plugged into a church? I know you go but it's not the same thing as being plugged in. I would highly recommend that as well because anything to break isolation would help get your mind off food and getting spirtual food is SO important. I would also recommend a devotional called Streams in the Desert. It's for people going thru hard times such as this. It helped me so much when I first started reading it however lately I've been not reading it and I need to do it on a regular basis.Some of the passages brought me to tears, so make sure you have kleenex nearby if you get it! The enemy really loves playing mindgames with us esp when you are struggling, and this devotional really helps.
2415 days ago
Hi Inga, You are a beautiful child of God. In the Spirit we have the strength to overcome sin and without Him we are powerless. Night times a bad time for me too. After a day of work or play we weaken whether we feel it or not. Don't keep any of the foods you would binge on in the house or just enough for your beautiful children. When you bring it in don't forget to tell them it is for them.Don't be down on your self about this one, we are in it with you. God gives us the power to overcome temptation. Remember,we all are sinners and we will fall but through God's forgiveness in Christ we stand back up on solid ground. You are not alone.Pray wihout ceasing,your Father in Heaven feels your pain. I'll pray for you Sister!
2415 days ago
Comment edited on: 11/14/2010 3:01:14 PM
You, sweet Inga, are in my prayers, and will continue to be. We are Sisters Chosen after all.
Dear One, you know that I've spent a time of my life experiencing those dreadful nighttime callings to food also. It took a lot of journaling, a lot of forgiving myself, a lot of trying again the next day. Food is not going to fix our hurts, rather emotional or physical. It does take our attention away from the matter at hand for a season. But so does yoga, pilates, a good book, a talk with a friend, listening to nice music, a cup of hot tea, flipping through old pictures.
My friend, you can bring new habits into your life. You can overcome. You are soooo worth the effort.
Love and big hugs, my sweet friend,
2415 days ago
I know exactly what you mean. I too have found myself bingeing and I hate the way it makes me feel. Like you said, it doesn't help out situation at all! And somehow, while we are in the midst of a binge, there is some solace (mixed with guilt of course).
Have you considered seeing a therapist that specializes in eating disorders (we may not be have an actual eating disorder but for sure we are having eating issues!) ~ If not, have you considered Overeaters annonymous? You don't need to be heavy or wanting to lose weight to attend one of those free meetings. Honestly, I tried that but it didnt' work for me - but still - it might work for you.
Of course, I keep you (and all my BC Spark buddies in my prayers ~ You are a beautiful woman inside and out. I just took a look at your summer photos and you are just beautiful! And I know you are beautiful inside just by how much you help others on here ~ I can't thank you enough for having this team and for all that you do for it!
Sometimes, Inga, all you need to do is talk with somone (I'm willing to listen) -- binging is literally our attempt to push down --- waaaayyy down emotions that are simply too scary for us to handle. So ... we eat until it hurts and then our focus can turn from those scary thoughts (that we have no easy solution to)... to the thoughts of how uncomfortable we are physically from the binge. Get it?
Well, that is my two cents! Hope it helps in some small way - and I am always here if you want to chat.
2415 days ago
First off, I am keeping you in my prayers Inga! God is faithful and true and His Will is perfect. Trust in Him!
I used to do the late night eating too. I still do a little nibbling from time to time but what I found to be a good idea is to put a small mirror on the upper door of the fridge so when I am eating when I shouldn't be, I have to look myself in the face! Whew! That really helps me. And another thing, throw all the junk food out and replace them with fruits and veggies and good things to snack on. I love the Girl Scouts, but I can't have the cookies in my house or I will eat them all!
And last but not least, keep a positive attitude my friend! We can sometimes be our own worse enemy. Wake up each morning thanking God for another day and live that day to the fullest! And reach out to your SP Family! I am here whenever you need to talk or vent!
Love you and God bless you!
2415 days ago
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