Thursday, November 11, 2010
I am about to finish Week 6 of P90X.
I have lost THREE POUNDS. That is it. I am workout out every day (except Sundays), sticking to 1,600-1,800 calories per day... and I have only lost THREE POUNDS. What's worse, is that I've told just about everyone I know that I'm doing P90X, and I get so embarrassed when I see them and I don't look any different! I have a teensy, teensy bit more muscle in my arms, but they're so covered with fat that no one else can see it.
This is so stinkin' unfair. I am so sick of being FAT. I have lost a total of six pounds in the last 6 months!
I'm so tired of people saying "Maybe you're gaining muscle, because muscle weighs more than fat." Bullcrap. (A pound of muscle weighs the same as a pound of fat, by the way- muscle is just more compact). I'm 177 lbs. I've got 30+ lbs of FAT I need to lose. That scale has got to start dropping at some point, because I cannot replace all this extra fat with muscle- it's impossible and I would look absolutely disgusting if I did anyway. I have not lost any inches, and I have not lost any body fat, according to the body fat calipers I got with my P90X.
I haven't gotten any stronger either... I have not moved on to heavier weights than what I started with, and I can now do ONE toe push-up instead of the dozen I could do BEFORE I started P90X. Weird, huh?
My birthday is 1 month and 18 days from now. I started with the goal of losing 20-25 lbs by my birthday. That isn't going to happen.
Wow, I can't believe how bad of a mood I am in today. It's been a rough week... had a falling-out with my husband's family after I found out they were saying all kinds of horrible things about me, and now they don't know why I don't want to have anything to do with them.