10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 10,983

My Name is Sarah, and I'm a

Monday, November 08, 2010


Last night I was watching the 1st week of this season's The Biggest Loser. Aaron was talking about his dad and how he grew up embarrassed of his dad's alcoholism. Aaron didn't choose alcohol for his addiction, instead he chose food.

This resonated with me. I too, had an alcoholic parent that I was embarrassed about. She's also been obese most of her life. Like Aaron, I chose the path of food being my addiction. I still hide some of my eating, many social events end up with me gorging my face with food, and I still find myself labeling food "good" and "bad". I feel that every day I have to consciously think about what choices I'm making. I have to think ahead about those social commitments and how I can prevent losing control. Each meal and each event is a chance for me to either go off the rails emoticon or stay in this journey. Can anyone relate?

Whether it be shopping, gambling, smoking, drinking, or eating; I think many of us have addictions or things in our life that get out of balance.

So, how does one break this cycle? emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can relate most definitely. I have turned to food so that I didn't have to feel anything at some points in my life. As a child I was abused and food was the only thing I felt I had control over. Now everyday is a struggle to make sure that I eat right and don't binge. That I do something in the lines of exercise. Food has always been an emotional thing for me. Now I have awesome support from my own family. Now I'm more aware of the choices I make and how it will effect me and my results. I will succeed and not let food run my life. emoticon because you are taking steps to change your life for the better. emoticon
    2622 days ago
    I am such a foodaholic. I am trying to convince myself that I can still be a 'good' foodaholic by being obsessed with the freggies and things, but we'll see if that works :p

    I think there is definitely a connection between a lot of the addictions people suffer from. Because my aunt passed away from alcoholism and smoking my entire family doesn't smoke, but we eat instead. I read somewhere that sometimes genetics comes into play, that families may have an addictive gene that can turn up anywhere- gambling, eating, smoking, and drinking. and sometimes it can be multiple in each person, so even if they swear off cigarettes they instead turn to the cookies, or have two or three of these addictions and can't help themselves.

    Here's hoping we break the cycle!! Great blog, reminded me again of why I need to fight the cravings!
    2624 days ago
    2626 days ago
  • _TRIXIE_
    Me, three. Total foodaholic.

    You and I were at the same function on Sat night and AS I WAS EATING SECONDS, I thought to myself about how good your control was. I just can't do it. I grazed like a cow, but then forced myself to run the next morning.

    6 miles later and I *think* I've worked off the mini turtles, but the rest of the apple cake is on my counter as I type...

    I haven't thought much about the correlation between a parent's alcoholism and our own "addictions," but it's something to ponder. I know I eat much more freely because I don't have someone watching me and possibly judging me.

    No idea how to break the cycle, but know you're not alone. :)

    2686 days ago
    I can relate to this. Today, I ate some chocolate in my kitchen.. away from my husband so he wouldn't see me. :(

    Thanks for sharing and we WILL succeed!!!

    emoticon emoticon
    2687 days ago
  • GUNI50
    Hey Cupcake Sarah...What can I say that hasn't been said? Addiction is addiction; if we "taste" of the addiction it triggers it again! We KNOW that, but the need we feel when stressed, or the habit that just slides past our consciousness causes us grief every time.You are so right about that.
    Social situations are deadly for me too. That didn't have anything to do with alcohol, but guilt...same result tho! AND with SP we are learning a new habit...which takes time! AND with SP we are learning what is "Normal"...which takes time! AND with SP Friends, we are learning that all those "strong" people (that we thought were probably flawless) have areas of weakness...just like probability is high that all humanity AND each human, is working on getting along in life despite a "weakness" that hits them when stressed or when habit slips by their consciousness...THAT tickles my funny-bone somehow!! LOL!! That we may all be unique, but our problems are the same!! Now you and I and all the lovely SPs are working on ours in the same way too!!...AND SUCCEEDING, BY JOVE!!! LOL!!
    I say we fight on! emoticon
    2687 days ago
  • LEAKAY59
    You said it right in your blog, Sarah: "every day I have to consciously think about what choices I'm making." That's how we break the cycle - be conscious of every bite and every swig that goes in your mouth!

    2687 days ago
    We take it one day at a time.
    2687 days ago
    Awareness is the first step in breaking the cycle.
    Forgiveness and letting go of the past will help.
    The trials and tribulations of life, whether in an alcoholic family or not, is what made you the person you are today.
    That is a good thing!
    We learn the most from our pain and mistakes in life.
    I remember reading once that many children of alcoholics (I'm one, too) who do not end up alcoholics often end up with food issues of some kind.
    Best wishes on your journey to better health.

    2687 days ago
    I had an alcoholic father. He finally did get sober but left him with a lot of health issues. This blog is GREAT!! I do many of the same things you wrote about and I am finally learning to make wise choices each day, one step at a time. Thank you so much for sharing this!! emoticon
    2687 days ago
  • MINDY502
    I can relate to this also. I will be going along find and then i get a taste of something and think just this one time and I wont eat it again but that leads to another thing. I think it is just making that choice each and everyday. Do I want to be happy and healthy or do I want to go back to putting weight back on and being unhappy. We generally are going to chose the first. Thinking also everday Am i worth it? Yes you are very much worth it and so is your happiness! Stay strong! Wish you the best!
    2687 days ago
    Ditto here and what I learned from it was to skate over the feelings brought up so I didn't have to hurt so much. That left little time to learn about good habits and the things that were important to me. SP is helping me learn those and many other things about myself since I am slowing it down, breathing and feeling my feelings. It's not always comfortable and I know it's leading me in the right direction for me. I need to stay inspired by something bigger than the daily challenge. Eventually I have become as attached to the healthy habits as the poor ones I used to select.
    Mostly I am learning how helpful it is to have others to share this with. Thanks for starting up a helpful conversation!
    Together we can do it!
    2688 days ago
    First, you're not alone. I can relate. I too have hidden some of my eating (by not counting it on my daily food diary). And we know those things add up - BIG TIME!!

    The only way for me to break that cycle is to get SUPER motivated. SP is all I need to do that. Seeing everyone's successes and wanting the same results for myself is my only way to keep me balanced.

    You deserve the same thing!! So congratulations to you for getting control!!


    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2688 days ago
    I never thought about that but my parents drank a lot when I was growing up and would have fights that made me very uncomfortable. I ended up not being a fighter but ate a lot.
    I think one key there is that we have to let ourselves feel our emotions and not stuff them away with food. Sometimes if I stop myself from eating and ask myself...why are you eating right now I will almost feel like crying but not really sure why. So the food was supposed to stop that? And if I go ahead and FEEL whatever it is then the food loses its appeal.

    2688 days ago
    Sarah, I can definitely relate.

    My biological father was an alcoholic, and I decided early in life not to take that route. I had food allergies as a child and could not eat chocolate and other foods so that route was out. However, I always like sweets - jelly beans, cotton candy, caramels, you name it. If it did not have chocolate in it but was sweet, I ate it.
    A diagnosis of hypertension caused me to cut way back on the sodium in my diet, and to my surprise cutting back on the salt helped cure by craving for sweets. Yes, I "fall off the wagon" sometimes, but most times I eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies and have no desire for foods with added salt and sugar.
    Of course holidays and social events still present challenges for me, but even if I get off track then, I find myself getting back on track more quickly each time to my preferred way of eating. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2688 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.