Friday, November 05, 2010
I've not been feeling the best about myself for the past few weeks. Over the course of my weight loss, it's never been a proportionate shrinking. Some goes from my arms for a week, then my legs shrink for two weeks, then my chest, my belly, my legs, etc.
About a month ago, I hit a spot where I was well proportioned, and despite still being overweight, I felt beautiful and proud when I looked in the mirror. .... Then my breasts began to shrink. ... And shrink. ... And shrink. And while I'm still losing weight, my proportions are off, making my belly look huge again by comparison. I've been trying not to let it get to me. I've told myself that if I just keep with it, I'll start losing in other places (*crossing my fingers it will be my midsection*) again. But it's still hard to feel good about myself and the work I'm doing.
I was a little down in the dumps and skipped Zumba to clean off my hard drive. And then I saw it. My eyebrows raised in surprise, then I squinted and leaned forward. 'That can't be...' I thought. But they were pictures of me, all right.
And that was me in 2006. By the time I decided to start losing weight in February of this year, I had GAINED weight!!!
I've always been a master of dodging the camera, so I didn't have many "before" pictures of myself. And as you gradually lose weight, you stop remembering what you used to look like. And there it was clear as day.
I'm feeling pretty good about myself again.