Thursday, November 04, 2010
Yes it's true, my brain hates me. If my brain loved me I would be able to go places without having to give myself a pep talk first. I would not feel like I'm going to die when I pick my daughter up from school. I wouldn't dread heading to the supermarket to get groceries. I would hate leaving the house.
This has been going on for as long as I can remember. It has lead to me quitting just about every job I've ever had, quitting school, and it's the reason why I don't make friends that easily.
But at least I know that I need help. I need to see someone to fix what is broken with me. I can't live fearing everything that is outside my house. I shouldn't fear public places because I have no way to escape should I have a panic attack. I want to enjoy the things I used to WAY back when. I want to feel normal again.
Please don't feel sorry for me, because that is not what I'm asking or saying. But please, feel free to leave encouraging words to help me through this.
My name is Beth and I have agoraphobia.
(just really needed to put this somewhere and get it off my chest.)