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Wednesday was a train wreck for my program

Thursday, November 04, 2010

I think a day like this had been building up for some time. The looming deadline of the Run to Remember and the disappointment of not actually making the drive and seeing people who have said they will miss me there... add that to the long stretch of time off... unstructured time... and my own high expectations of myself for "getting things done" with that unstructured time. Buried boulders on the path, waiting to stub toes and trip me up. Add that to waking up at 2:50 a.m. and not being able to go back to sleep and you have something brewing.

Intelligence is not a defense against this sort of thing. It's going to happen every once in while. And... the perfect storm led to an attack of the devilish "I don't wannas". emoticon And I remembered the Good N Plenty package I bought as a Halloween treat and had not opened... and it started the flood gates opening. It was the smallest package I could find in the store (I had planned to get Halloween snack sized boxes and hand them out, reserving one for me... but the store was out... and I bought this "movie treat" sized package. And I ate the whole thing, all 4 1/2 servings its nutrition (or lack thereof) label claimed was in it. I went on to eat other treats, but since I don't keep chips in the house was protected from the urge for those salty treats... believe me, had they been here, they would have been history. Had chocolate or peanut butter or cheese been in the house... yep, I know I would have eaten it.

This speaks to the wisdom of not even buying it: because when the weak moments come, there is not a 100% guaranteed protection. Best protection, I have found, for ME, anyway, is just not to have it in the house.

So, yeah, second time within a week where I blew the calories and didn't burn them off. The plus side? I slept really, really well last night! I stopped eating around supper time, not being hungry any more. emoticon

BUT, it has to emoticon now! The deal with maintenance is that there will be days like this. Just as there were days like this throughout the long months of losing. But maintenance does not mean your body can take this kind of abuse every day or even for a week.

I rather suspect that the Halloween treats I allowed myself on Sunday helped set this up (sugar, folks, is a drug for some of us)... and the unstructured time... and the anniversary that the run is marking... and concern even about all of this.

So, today, emoticon of binge recovery. Nurture. Big picture. Take care of me! Don't beat up on me. Follow my own advice! Because, as I tell others that each of them is worth it... so am I.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    We all have days like this....and that's ok, as long as we don't lose sight of the reasons we got in the position we were in before the start of our weight loss journeys. We don't ever want to go back there! (Well, I'm still kinda there, but you know what I mean!) I'm glad you are back on track now though.
    2517 days ago
    Sugar can do the same to me - and did earlier this week.

    2517 days ago
  • REJ7777
    It's great that you were able to avoid a bigger binge by not having those other addictive foods in the house. You had already won the battle at the grocery store. Sugar and fat are addictive. If I have pastries or chips, etc. in the house, I'll eat them! And I will NOT be reasonable about it! I HAVE to keep that junk out of the house. Then if I absolutely must have some, I have to go out and buy it. That alone has enabled me to avert many a binge!

    You're doing well! Keep up the good work! emoticon
    2517 days ago
    We all have to take this a day at a time Barb and many people recognise where you have just been - and you have analysed why you went there. We're all learning with you and from you.

    Couldn't agree more on the wisdom of not having food in the house. It's one of the things that work for me.

    The main thing is that you acknowledge the blip and move on. When I go over calories I try to remember that I would need to eat 3,500 calories more than I use to gain a pound. Not even your 4.5 servings would add up to that.

    Take care of yourself as you prepare for your run. That will burn off some calories and perhaps you can release some of the pent up emotion as you run your course.

    Take care my friend.

    emoticon emoticon
    2517 days ago
    Glad you're on day 1 of forward steps after your Halloween tricks.
    Autumn is a time of change and it's often difficult to stay grounded, particularly with new life changes.
    I know emoticon
    2517 days ago
  • CONCHA77
    Hi Barb,
    Hope your back on track today-We all have those times....
    Treat yourself to a nice walk today, you are worth it.

    2517 days ago
  • ANDI571
    I did so well while we were gone on eating sugar, then on the trip home, I started. And it's like once you get the taste, that's all you think about. Today is a new day, and like you said, "Take care of me! Don't beat up on me! I am worth it!"
    2517 days ago
    Sugar is always one of those demons I have to deal with also...I know that I cannot have just one piece becasue it just leads to a binge or just forgetting this healthy journey. Just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and begin again...don't ever beat yourself up because you have come so far to fall back to old habits! emoticon
    2517 days ago
  • SUNNY332
    I have a hard time putting on the breaks on sugar too. Once I start, I am into it for a while. I have learned that I can not "flirt" with sweets as it always gets me into a relationship that is hard to get out of.

    Good job to make today Day 1 of binge recovery. You are so right - worth the effort.

    Take care and have a good day. I know your friends will miss you. That is the sad part of not being able to be there with them.

    You still, in my humble opinion, made a wise choice.

    Hugs, Sunny
    2517 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/4/2010 8:50:11 AM
    You are worth it! We all have to remind ourselves of this. You CAN get back on track to healthy maintenance and not feel guilty any more about the set back. It's over and done with and today is a new day! emoticon emoticon
    2517 days ago
    I agree with you about 'sugar is a drug' - and having any really sets up the addiction-style cravings, at least, it does with me. No such thing as 'just a little' - for an ex-smoker or an alcoholic, no such thing as 'just one.' And as for the 3 AM kitchen raid... goes to show no road is entirely smooth, ain't? emoticon
    2517 days ago
    So much wisdom and honesty in your blog! Put it behind you and focus on getting back on track. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2517 days ago
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