Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I have been missing on Spark for these past few days. I have succumbed to stress and lost the battle BUT NOT the WAR on my addiction to food. It started slowly and before I knew it I was in full blown BINGE mode. One bag of jelly beans and 16 fun size bars of snickers later I came to a screeching halt!
It was almost as if I could not get back on track until I had this little temper tantrum with my eating.
I could give you excuses like my back is hurting and I can not exercise right now and that means my stress level goes astronomical. Or how about the stress of my daughter's surgery and the worry about if DD Free Spirit will be OK as she tours India alone for 3 1/2 months made me do it. Or how about how long is my Mom going to linger in that Nursing Home before God calls her home!
The reality is just this - I am acting like a little kid. I am mad at God that my oldest child has to deal with all her medical conditions. I am consumed with worry that something will happen to Free Spirit DD while traveling abroad. I am failing to acknowledge on all levels that I do not control things around here. There is a higher power who does just fine even if we do not always understand. After all I can not even control myself what gives me the audacity to think I could control anything else.
I screwed up and now it is time to put it behind me and celebrate what I have done right.
1. I came back to the place I know will help.
2. I ate with in my range today and I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner.
3. Just because I can not exercise the way I have been used to doing does not mean I can not start slow and build myself back up.
4. I FORGIVE ME
5. Time to consider ALL the things I need to be grateful for.
6. Thank you God for my life. And God I will try to do better and not question so much and just accept more!