Friday, October 22, 2010
Today was the one of the worst days I have had in a while. I was late this morning. My husband was sick and couldn't take the kids to school. My 5 yr old had a fever last night. That was odd because she never gets sick. My 6 yr old was coughing and sounding like his lungs were about to explode. So I took my 3 yr old to daycare and went to work. When I arrived I was thoroughly chewed out. I wasn't upset about what she said (my A.P.) because after all I was late. I was however upset about how she said it. But I knew that if I said nothing, she wouldn't rant for long. Two hours later she's screaming about some kid in the hallway telling me that I need to give her a pass. I tried to explain to her that she didn't come from my class. She just kept on yelling at me to give her a pass. I tried to explain to her again and was unsuccessful in my attempt. She continued to rant. I told her, "You don't understand what I'm saying." She retorted, "No you don't understand what I'm saying. GIVE HER A PASS!!!" At that point it was if the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder, " Let this go. She just wants to argue." So instead of going back and forth with her, I told her, "I'm walking away now." I gave the girl a pass.
If that wasn't enough a student cussed me out. I was at my limit by this time. I responded, "You shouldn't talk about your mama like that!" She was furious. After we both calmed down, I apologized for any insult to her mother. We ironed out our differences. The AP was not done with me. An hour after turning in attendance forms, she fussed about it being late. Even later, after school, she fussed again about attendance on my way out the door. I just shrugged my shoulders and replied, "O.K." "It's not O.K." she replied, " Is there something you want to tell me. What's going on today. Do you need to talk?" I was incredulous. I was thinking, "YOU are the problem. After you harass me all day do you think that I would tell you anything?" Instead I gave a soft answer, " No, have a good weekend".
Later I was still seething. I turned on some gospel music and tried to focus on something else. Then it hit me. I feel bullied and intimidated. It is taking a lot of self control to deal with this woman. But this moment is but a light affliction. Christ endured the shame of the cross for me. I can't imagine how he felt being able to destroy His accusers but choosing to endure the pain for my soul. As I meditated on this, I thought that if Christ can endure the shame of the cross, surely I can endure this moment. I repented for my part in today's chaos and prayed that my boss is shown some grace when she is being bullied and intimidated. I thank God that He is showing me how to be graceful in this situation. I know that God is being honored by my refusal to stoop to her level. Pray for me that I can continue to do so.