Friday, October 22, 2010
Less than 24 hours to go.
This time tomorrow I'll be about 4 hours into the run, probably around mile 20 with the worst miles ahead of me. Perhaps hitting the wall. Maybe thinking I can't do this or wanting to quit. But definitely DEFINITELY not stopping, not quitting and not giving up.
Thanks for the support all of you - I appreciate it so much. :D
I swing back and forth between pride/excitement and abject terror! Hah. It's a funny sort of emotional rollercoaster. I'm currently scared. Last night, while watching "Spirit of the Marathon" (again!) to gear myself up, I felt proud and amazed.
It's ME who's going to do this. The girl who started running May of '09 and could only run about 3-5 minutes at a time before needing a walk break. The girl who ran a 10K in Oct. '10 and thought that 6.2 miles was an insanely long distance. The girl who, in March of '10, ran her first 10 mile race and wanted to die - but also was so amazed and astounded at what her body could do(!). That same girl ran 13.1 miles in May '10, with her best friend in the world beside her, and had another moment of epiphany. 13 miles! Me!? So much fun, let's do it again! July 4, 2010 came the second 13 miler ... and then the seed was planted. It was really quiet at first "how about a marathon?"... easy to blow off as being completely flipping insane!
As time went on, the voice got louder and most insistent. "HEY, about that marathon!? Let's do that." Eventually it became a roar... "MARATHON. SIGN UP NOW, LADY!" and who am I to argue with an internal voice that is that much of a pain in the booty? 22 weeks of training (with a 3 week break in there for the injury) later ... here I am. Less than 24 hours away from the starting line.
And the girl who crosses that line (hopefully upright and smiling but crawling and smiling will also work, if it's all I've got...) will be the one I've been working on becoming for the last 2-3 years. Strong. Determined. Dedicated. I plan to leave the last of the hurt and the negative stuff from my past all along that 26.2 mile trail. I'm crossing the finish but my baggage isn't.
Let's do this thing.