Friday, October 22, 2010
Hey ya'll, long time no see! Just stopping through to tell ya'll what's been going on with me. I feel myself slipping into a hole filled with food. I am drinking soda, haven't had a protein shake in a while, haven't had any vitamins and have pretty much been eating what I want and while I'm still not able to eat like I used to, I feel guilty as hell. I feel like I am cheating myself. I have tried to think and rationalize my feelings as to why am I eating and why am I drinking sodas.
I currently weigh 184.3. I am 16mths out. I still feel like a failure. My family and I are living with my bro in law and sis in law and it is hell in a handbasket...I think that contributes to my eating habits also because I am not able to cook and prepare my own meals. We eat out everyday and occasionally we will have sandwiches...if their kids haven't destroyed our bread and eatin our lunch meat. *sigh* We have not been pregnant again since the miscarriage on 3/21. My due date was last week which had me feeling down in the dumps because I was thinking about what would've been. I've been missing my mom, missing my job and yet I'm still trying to find a way to not ever work for someone else again.
I really would like to receive funding for my mentoring program. Check it out! I am launching E-Mentoring, hopefully by the end of the year or the beginning of 2011. I am extremely excited about my program which is called The P.H.A.T. Kids Mentoring Program and I currently have almost 30 kids enrolled. Just trying to match mentors with the mentees! I love it and it is a dream come true for me. Just not bringing in any income. I am getting unemployment benefits, but they will not last long. I am getting ready to apply for an extention soon. **sigh** Thanks for listening guys. I don't think I'm that far gone, but I would again...love some suggestions from those that are 16mths out. What are you eating? I freak out because I can eat a whole taco from taco bell...I can only eat one, but that scares me...smh! Pray for me! Love ya'll and I miss ya'll too!