Am I A Judge?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I took the Spark quick poll today "Be honest: Do you secretly (or openly) judge people based on their weight?" As I contemplated my answer, I was ashamed to admit I'm guilty of judging people for various reasons, and I know that is wrong. "Judge not that ye be not judged."
I don't judge a person because of her (or his) size as much as I do on what appears to be their attitude -- slovenly or well kempt, walking (I admire!), or slumped in a booth stuffing their faces with junk food (I'm sorry to admit I judge), clean and neat (I admire) or dirty and sloppy (I judge). But I know I shouldn't. I don't and can't know their personal issues, their lot in life, their mental state.
I can't know what they experienced growing up, what abuse or torment they faced, what hardships life threw at them. I can't know what disillusioned them or beat them down, or overwhelmed them. But I often picture them as a little child, running carefree and happy, and wonder what happened in their lives to make them lapse into their present condition. Maybe a friendly smile or a kind word would help them. I can do that!
Whenever I find myself being judgmental I feel guilty (as I should) and wonder what people think of me when they see me. Are they judging? Are they wondering why I'm fat (I'm about 65 lbs. overweight)? Do I look disgusting to them? Do they pity me? (Not a good thing!)
But I can't improve in order to avoid being judged—I can only improve because of my inner desires. I can only do it for me, not to please others. Which brings me back to judging others. I don't want to be judged! I don't want to judge others! Only I can control that. And I will work harder at being kind and not judging others because of contemplating the Spark Quick Poll. Thanks, SparkPeople!