ive only been updating off and on this month.. its just really hard.. cuz i dont think im eatting that much compared to what i use to. its the opposite of emotionally eatting.. i think im emotionally starving :/
i mean its up and down.. i force myself to eat sometimes. but i get my ups and down.. when im up i eat when im down.. i dont even think of eatting.. which is focking weird cuz i love food!! but anyways. its all personal stuff...
im not even that motivated to work out..
but hey i did swim today.. cuz im in new mexico for work.. for 2 weeks. and i hate it and its only the first day.. and i dont want to be here what so ever.. but i guess everything sadly happens for a reason. :/
i think i'll be eatting a lot of junk food here... hopefully i'll get to go out and eat a lot.. cuz i can't cook here when its a hotel room with crappy pots and pans..
i miss my place already.
everything just kinda sux for me now..
im living in limbo.. lost.. and have no direction. none what so ever.
just breathing takes effort. :/
my list of food i got at walmart for the next two weeks:
cheeseburger combo snacks
tuna salad can and cracker
siracha sauce (cock sauce)
mini ravioli chef borardi
2 stoffers soup and sandwich frozen meal
pepperonni sticks and cheese sticks snacks
gold fish crackers
frozen jumbulya meal
frozen cheese cabata bread
easy mac velveta
and i think thats it.. oh and i got 2 can of coke from the plane ride.
yeah none of that food is me.. except for the water i guess.