am i the boss of me?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The other day a friend & I were having some empty-nest-mom talk. She said that her daughter used to say "you're not the boss of me – I’m the boss of me" all the time. Without really thinking, I said that "no one is the boss of me - not even me!" We laughed about it, but I thought about that statement all day long. It was an honest moment and I think I can learn something from it.
I guess I’ve always done things because someone else needed me to do it or required me to do it. Now that girl #3 has gone off to college I’m home alone mon-fri. I am the boss of me and it doesn't come naturally. I know I should do things for me, I get the inspirational emails and have read the books but I haven’t absorbed the lessons.
So these days without the (welcome) demands of kids and pets I’m NOT doing do a very good job taking care of life's daily stuff. And obviously I’m not even finding time to get on here despite my pledge. This is frustrating for me. I know I should get up and go for a walk or a swim, I should come home & take care of dinner & laundry right away, I need to do homework, etc. But I don’t.
To be fair to me, there are good things going on: I’m not falling into a lonesome mom slump, I am coping with my newly achy back and yet another round of physical therapy and I am keeping up with a super busy fall at work as well as two evening classes.
It really helps to get this out of my head. And I like listing what I am doing right. I'll be happy for what's working and work on what's not. A funny thought just popped into my head – maybe I’m finding my little mary sunshine – haven’t seen her in decades.
Well, I think that’s enough introspection for one night. I really need to pack for the weekend, clean up the kitchen, and get a good night’s sleep. I’ll bring the evil netbook with me and make myself log into spark at least once per day because this keeps me honest. I’m going to focus on what I can control - my diet, some (reduced) exercise, tracking my behavior (eating & exercise).
I can do this – get ready for tomorrow, make healthier choices & be my own boss!