Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Well, maybe jog is the wrong word. It's more like wog. I probably wog slower than most people walk. But I did a total of 2.7 miles and wogged 2.1 of those miles so I'm jazzed! And I'm going to do it again and again. Maybe even add mileage or cut out some time. Not sure. Don't know but it's out there for me. I know I can do it. And if I can do it - belieeevvveeee me, anyone can.
I know I'm big and heavy and the thudding of my feet on the pavement (think Jurassic Park) is probably not good for my feet or the asphalt but I did it. And I was trying to run softly - heel, ball, toe - and quietly like my dance teachers always taught me. BUT I DID IT!!
My heart rate went to a max of 160 but went back down to 134 in less than two minutes. That is very good news. I know, I know, 160 is almost off the scale for my max but it is ok and I wasn't dying or pushing toooo hard. It's all good.
This brings to mind a conversation that I had with someone in my store yesterday. She was a very attractive elderly lady who happened to be on the heavy side. She is going to weight watchers and we got into the weight loss conversation. She said she is sick and tired of people telling her she is fat so she decided to try WW.
I don't like it when someone tells me I'm fat, either. I know I'm fat. It's not a secret that I've been keeping from myself. Or everyone else is sneaking around whispering "she's fat but she doesn't know it." Nobody has to tell anyone that they are fat. We all know our flaws. We see it everyday. We live it. We work it. My favorite greeting card says I'm Fat, You're Ugly - I can diet. I love that card.
This poor woman is starving herself to death because people are criticizing her. Oh sure, they can tell you it's for your health or so your joints don't hurt so much or to get off all the meds, etc. But what they are really saying is fat is unacceptable in our society. I used to be one of those fat phobics and guess what!!!! Shoes on the other foot. Not so funny now, is it, girlfriend? Now that menopause, hormones, slower bmi, and a million other things have jumped up in my face all at once and have made my body deceive me.
But, can I really blame weight gain on anything but myself? Let's take a realistic look at this. First I had an eating disorder - I was a very proud anorexic. I weighed less than 100 lbs for 12 years. I was in control of my food and my body. I did not realize what a screwed up perception of food that I had. When I finally started to eat, it took alot of time for me to start eating normally and guess what I found out? I liked food. Especially food of the sweet, salty and fried variety. Not good. But I started eating and got to a normal weight. Oh, did I mention that I was teaching aerobics at the time? Yep, four classes a day, four days a week and two classes a day for 2 days and one day off which I usually spent choreographing new routines. So I was over-exercising, bigtime. Not good. And eating junk. Really not good.
The point is, I looked great but I was setting myself up for failure in the future. The bad part is I KNEW all this stuff because I had been studying this for many, many years. But as long as I looked great, I guess it didn't apply to me. Yeah, right.
Then I quit teaching so my activity level was cut at least in half but my eating didn't change. It took alot of years - about 10, I guess, to see the weight creep on. And creep it did, slowly like a crawling, creepy, mossy growth. But I seemed to be sleeping through all that and one day - boom! - I looked like Little Lotta.
And now I have to put all of that 'book learning' to use and I'm trying. It's been a tough journey but one that I will continue forever. It will always be a struggle, some days up, some days down. But my little experiment in wogging has shown me that I can do it. You can it. We can do it. Alone or together, we can do it. Nothing is stopping us except our own fear of failure. Seems kinda silly, doesn't it? I'm going wogging again and again and maybe someday I'll be jogging and maybe even running. I'm really not ready to set those goals in stone but rather keep them up in the sky with the stars where I can see them and keep reaching instead of having to slam into them everytime I turn around.
Keep on wogging!