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CARRIE1948
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints 209,012
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Falling Off the Wagon

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

When do we learn? Seriously?

I never think of myself as an emotional eater, but last night, after nearly 2 years, I fell off the wagon. I'm tired from one of my pain meds and still in pain.

Last night, between the pain and the exhaustion from the nerve pain meds, I couldn't read or concentrate on a tennis match on TV.

What I could do was eat.

Since there are only healthy foods in the fridge, my pig-out contained a mere 500 calories, but I did it. After so much time, I was willing to sabotage my efforts for yogurt and raw almonds.

What was I thinking? As my back deteriorates, my ability to exercise gets more and more limited, making just maintaining where I am a challenge. I certainly didn't need the extra calories. And, they didn't stop the pain or the exhaustion.

When will I learn?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 4A-HEALTHY-BMI
    ...and by the way, I get the point about how distressing even 500 calories over is - because you have so little tolerance to work with and really it's the behavior that's distressing, not so much the actual calories.

    Because it can lead to more calories the next time.

    Hang in there.

    emoticon
    2152 days ago
  • PEACEPOET
    I agree with the others, you shouldn't beat yourself up over 500 calories--and calories from healthy foods, at that! You recognized that you made a choice you weren't happy about it, which is good, and honestly, that kind of "splurge" is so within the realm of normal that I wouldn't be so hard on yourself about it. Hugs to you!
    2172 days ago
  • DDOORN
    Good for you to not have anything TOO nasty to fall of the wagon with...!

    But all the angst and beating up of yourself isn't going to help you reach your goals. In fact these are probably more harmful to you than the 500 calories!

    Mistakes are opportunities for learning! Sift through your experience, learn and then move on! One step back TWO steps forward! :-)

    Don
    2173 days ago
  • TAMSPARKLESTOO
    Shoot! I think if the only thing you've done to cope with all the pain is eat a few hundred calories here or there then you're in pretty good shape. I don't want to tell you what I would have done LOL!

    Falling off the wagon, what can I say. I fell off in July and am being dragged by said wagon as we speak. Being battered and bruised by it but won't let go of the rope. I guess that's a good sign.

    Hugs!
    2173 days ago
  • LADYHAWKES
    Hey Carrie, so sorry you are having so much pain! Please don't beat yourself up emotionally, you have accomplished so much. I've gotten to the point where I intermittenly use hyponoticism tapes when I start to see myself fall back into a negative pattern....mine is late night eating. After a few nights of hypno I seem to get back on track. Maybe it could help you manage pain? Just a thought, so sorry you are hurting!
    2173 days ago
  • RAYLINSTEPHENS
    It happens to all of us.

    Have you tried Chair Exercises? There is a Chair Exercise Spark Team that has links for free online exercises to do in a chair.

    Feel better!
    2174 days ago
  • LIFEISAJOURNEY
    I'm sorry about the continuous pain you're having to endure, with no real remedy yet in sight.

    You're human, Carrie, don't beat yourself up or think an episode like extra yogurt/almonds/calories defines you. It doesn't. Think of all your positives, draw strenght from that (more true) picture of who you are.

    This will pass ~ I hope soon!
    2174 days ago
  • 4A-HEALTHY-BMI
    emoticon
    Hang in there. Gimme a call if you need an ear or if I can help somehow.
    2174 days ago
  • TURBOAMIE
    At least you are honest with yourself and counted the calories! I'm so sorry to hear about your continuing pain.
    2174 days ago
  • NAJENA
    Sounds like you all ready know what to do. Life just gets in the way sometimes.
    2174 days ago
  • DWROBERGE
    We all have to learn the hard way. Keep focused for success. You can do it.
    2174 days ago
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