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day 13

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Mom's doc called me at home last evening, informing me that he thought she had died over a year ago due to the fact that she never kept any of her appointments, never answered her phone,,, I informed him of her true personality, he was stunned, since she was so wonderfully polite to him before,,I had to burst his bubble and tell him how manipulative she always has been and still is,, that as long as he had the Rx pad and MD license, he was her best friend, as long as he gave her what SHE wanted,, when he d/c'd a couple of her pain meds and a mood elevator, she dumped him, waited until someone else was on call and got her mdse that way,, until she just decided a year and a half ago to not take ANY meds..

He informed me that she was calling the nurses BITC-es, called him names he had never heard of before,,
told him she is a caffeine addict in the form of 5-10 regular Pepsi's a day,, he almost dropped the phone,,
I told him I would be in hours before their breakfast trays came,, I was at the nurses desk before the night shift left,spent a half hour telling the night nurse the same story,, about the abusive person she is,,
Informed her that I would be reaming mom a new one ,, to leave us alone in her room for a half hour after they got her up in the chair,,amidst much swearing,etc..

Informed mom if she did not stop her spoiled brat, Sister Mary Martyr behavior, stop abusing the staff and me, she would be all alone, that I would deal with her care via phone, never come to see her again, that she will never see her home again as long as she is abusive, non-compliant with all of us,, hospital cannot kep her, rehab will send her out if she refuses to help, nursing homes will not take her if she is non compliant due to liability laws..
Informed her that she caused all of her problems by make all her choices, bad ones, which caused her accidents, pain, injuries,,that she would have to try, to work with all, to get her better, she will hurt, she will get exhausted, she will get mad, but SHE WILL NOT BE A BITCH TO ANYBODY,,

she refused to answer me, but looked me in the eye, I have set my boundaries and have absolutely no qualms about keeping them there,,
I told her that the next time I got a bad report from staff I would no longer visit her, just take care of her business,, she would be all alone,, rot in her bed or grow up and do some work for the first time in her life..

She proceeded to eat for me, take her meds when the nurse came in,,
do not know if she will do it, but I WILL stick to my guns,,
If she outlives me, I will kill her!!LOL!
She is pure French, I am French, German, Irish,, I can be WAY more stubborn than her,, I am not a Kraut for nothing!!

I am going back to work in the morning, then on to the towing yard to legally sign off her totalled vehicle, empty it out of her junk,, (we returned 125 pepsi bottles this morning just from her kitchen!!) Kristy says there were lots more before her accident, in her back seat,, not sure if there IS a back seat anymore, since she went airborne and flipped her car three times! Hit two other cars and totalled one of them,, which was a dear friend of ours,, her son that Kristy grew up with,,

the mom of the guy she hit, just left,, have been a dear friend of hers since the 1970's!!
My no-show sister just called, she is going up to see mom in the hospital,, do not know what she is going to do after that.. not come here I hope,, cannot get in moms house,,
Anybody wanna trade families for a week? A day? Couple hours??

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    good for you for setting boundaries... Hopefully she got the message. Live strong!!
    2719 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Hang in there, friend!
    2719 days ago
    Good Morning Linda. So Glad you had your Chat with Mom. Let's just hope she heeds your warnings.
    You are so strong and I admire that in you....
    All of our prays are starting to work....
    2720 days ago
    I'm sending you a hug and reminding you to take care of yourself sweetie. emoticon
    Hang in there.
    2720 days ago
    Linda this conversation was long overdue. Now its done with and as you said your boundaries are set. Hopefully the Dr will help somehow after all of the abuse. Cannot help wondering how long your sister will hang around if Mom is abusive to her. Pat in Maine,

    PLEASE look out for yourself-Pat
    2720 days ago
    OMG OMG it's that bad? Geez.
    the poor staff. the poor Dr.

    My excuse is I'm on my way to California next Syunday. Want to come with me to Palm Springs? We can put dark glasses on you and slap a white cane in your hands.
    2720 days ago
    No way Jose! Doesn't it feel good to take a stand. I wish my DH's family had done it years before she died. The daughter wouldn't because she depended on them for money. My DH and his brother just ignored her as much as possible. It's a shame. Good luck to U. Stick to the position!
    2720 days ago
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