Monday, October 04, 2010
Well, after my previous blog, I'm sad to say that all the bit of progress I'd made has gone *poof*. I have regained the weight, plus a little bit more, which is disheartening. I want to blame my work schedule, but deep down I know that's just another excuse. I want to blame the breakroom donuts on Fridays, but again, that's a copout. I think I just gave up.
I have felt many pressures on me: starting counseling, which I guess has brought up a bunch of old, unresolved feelings; being dissatisfied with my life, my boyfriend, my dead garden. It has just all piled up on me, with nowhere to turn but food for comfort and solace. I don't like when I feel this way, and have a hard time getting up out of that darkness when it's just so deep.
Yesterday, however, I got back into walking, which I hadn't done in a while (say months?) by walking to work (partway, just two miles). And, it felt good to do that! I ate salad for dinner tonight, with poached chicken, green beans and just a light sprinkle of cheese. Little by little, I'm working on getting myself back into the right headspace. Wish I knew why I sabotage myself the way I've been doing, but I really need help to get OFF this carousel and ON to a better frame of mind, and thus a better body. I must defeat my self-destructive tendencies before I can count on seeing any success.
Any ideas, anyone? I'll listen to any and all suggestions for fighting the demons!