Tuesday, January 09, 2007
It's the worst feeling in the world to be mad at yourself.
I am furious. I remember early 2006 when I got out of the 180's I promised myself that I would never see those numbers again. Here I am 182.
I got down all the way to 162 pounds last year! I haven't seen that in years! 7 years actually. I felt great, I looked great. I don't know how I let this happen to myself. It's very depressing and I can't help but wonder if I am destined to be 180 pounds all my life. I can't think that way though. I refuse to. So instead I'm making bigger goals for myself. Originally I always said that I'll be happy at 150. I got so close to that. And I know now how easy it is to get right back up to 180 from there. Soo this time I am going to get as far away from 180 as I can. I am setting a goal for myself to reach 135 pounds. I haven't seen those number since I was 16 or 17 years old. Damnit, I'm gonna do it. Just watch me.