Thursday, September 30, 2010
A few weeks ago I celebrated walking into Lane Bryant and buying the smallest size they had on the rack. At the time, I couldn't believe that anything fit, but I accepted it and skipped joyfully out of the store thinking that I had just gotten away with something HUGE.
The fact of the matter is that I DID get away with something HUGE. Me. And Lane Bryant is one of a number of stores right now that are also getting away with something HUGE - lying to the women (and men) of America about how big we really are.
Tonight, as a gift to myself for losing *almost* 50 pounds (the scale will tell me tomorrow whether or not I have to wait one more week) I ventured to the basement and pulled out my skinny clothes suitcase. Now, let's be honest here - my "skinny clothes" are all roughly size 16-18 with some venturing as high as a 20 and my "goal dress" in a size 12. But seeing as how I recently fit in to the 16-18 categories at the store, I thought I'd break out the bag and re-discover just what I had stashed away almost 5 years ago now. It was like a blast from the past. Most things I forgot that I even owned at one point in time. A lot of it still has tags on it. Some of the items are truly my favorite pieces of clothing, including a red plaid jumper that my grandmother made for me in highschool. Better believe I'm going to be busting that out again come Christmas! (I love that fashion recycles itself every few years). But try and try again, item by item, everything in that bag is still about one size too small for me, despite the numbers on the tags.
My rationale - corporate America has got some serious explaining to do.
How can it be that in just 5 years, the actual, physical size of a "Size 18" has ballooned to what used to be considered a 22? And who are we really fooling anyway? I held those "Right Fit" jeans that I just bought three weeks ago in a size 20 (and already need to go back for an 18) up next to the Venezia (the old brand of Lane Bryant Right Fit) jeans from 5 years ago, also in a size 20, and the difference is appalling. The new jeans are clearly made from a stretchier, lighter weight fabric that has more give to allow for more curves - translation: it allows my big, fat behind to pretend like it's something that clearly it's not.
I've lost weight before. A few times. My suspicions were already aroused. It made me wonder why in the world the last time I fit into a size 16-18 I was 30 pounds LESS than I am right now. The scale isn't wrong - the measurements are. And that's downright mean. Get a girl's hopes up and break them down like that. So I'm packing the bag back up for the time being. Instead of it being my 50 pound reward, it is now going to be my reward for completing my Weight Watcher Challenge (hopefully around Christmas) - because now that I've seen what's in that bag again, I know there are some things in there worth working for!
But back to this "Vanity Sizing" thing for a moment - it infuriates me. Wake Up America! We, as a society, are literally bursting our britches. And it's NOT ok. It's NOT ok to fool us into thinking that we are smaller than we are. It's NOT ok to continue to allow a whole country to live in such denial. And it's NOT ok to continually de-standardize sizing charts to sell more clothes. Tell it like it is - WE ARE A FAT NATION. Period. I was on the bus the other day and I looked around me and I swear to you there was not one, single person on that bus (including me and the bus driver) who was not morbidly obese. I wanted to cry. What are we doing to ourselves? We are killing ourselves for capitalism. Is it really worth it? Sell more, eat more, waste more, take up more space. It's disgusting.
I almost want to take all those clothes back to the store. Problem is I've already worn most of them. And, sadly enough, it still excites me that the number on the tag says 14/16 - even though I know now that's a bunch of bull.
At the end of the day, however, this journey is still about how I feel, and not the numbers on the tags, or the scale, or the tape measure. It's just depressing that everyone here on Spark is doing this, fighting against "the man", for a healthier existence when quite clearly we are still shouting into a void. It's not easy being unsupported in your efforts, especially when the force you are fighting against happens to be the whole country and the almighty dollar. But - it all starts with a tiny Spark right? We are making movement. Slowly the brushfire is spreading. And bit by bit, person by person, voice by voice, we WILL make changes in this nation's outlook on health, well-being, and the obesity epidemic. Today it all starts with me, and a suitcase of "skinny clothes."