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    LAINEYFROG  
SparkPoints
 
 
Losing mental weight.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

When I say "mental weight", what do I mean by that? Mental weight, for me, is the falsehoods and stinkin' thinkin' that can get in my own way of being the best person I was meant to be. I spend time today reflecting on now versus about seven months before I started SP. The reflection comes just days before I am to attend another friend's wedding. The last friend's wedding I went to was 2.5 years ago, serving as bookends around this time.

In looking back over these past ~two years and two couples' weddings, each uniquely beautiful in their own right, I am delighted to say that I've had some physical weight move, yet I've also had a deeper sense of mental weight move.

I feel more confident than the person that I was two years ago. emoticon emoticon

All this time, yes, I have been in classes to finish my bachelor's degree, and, by golly, I will be done this coming March, but--weddings of friends--what a lovely way to mark time.

I feel that I am less critical of myself. Less worried with other's opinions and more willing to "let my light shine". I go to a school which has narrative evaluation for granting credit. That is, no GPA. I have requested my GPA to be calculated so I can fill in the numeric field for computer applications for grad schools. I have released all anxiety around just what my GPA is/might be. Whatever it is, will be fine for me. Being without a GPA has been a liberating blessing to me. I just write, do my projects, and turn my work in on time. BREATHE. It is not all about the numbers.

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There are intangibles, too, that come with this SP journey.

I am currently repeating a class. Humble pie, right? The same class was last attempted, yes, two years ago. Well--my grandmother's death and my older sister's cancer diagnosis and, later, treatment--all happened in quick succession two years ago.

I can look back over the last ~2 years with deep gratitude and a sly smile on my face. I am am blessed beyond belief.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHRINE2010 9/30/2010 6:21AM

    YOU ARE DOING GREAT!! SUCH INSIGHT TO WHAT WE ALL ARE GOING THROUGH. THIS IS THE KEY TO KEEPING WEIGHT OFF BECOMING THICKER SKINNED AND NOT LETTING OTHER OPINIONS BOTHER YOU. WAY TO GO YOU'VE GOT THAT SOMETHING SOMETHING AS MY FRIENDS WOULD SAY. emoticon

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CAROL3SAN 9/30/2010 5:56AM

    emoticon Keep on doing what you are doing. emoticon emoticon

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DEVORA4 9/30/2010 5:38AM

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MARYJOANNA 9/30/2010 5:37AM

  You are keeping on the right track. Good for you! Do you happen to watch Joyce Meyer on the religious chanel? She says we have to get rid of stinkin thinkin. Best wishes.

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