When I say "mental weight", what do I mean by that? Mental weight, for me, is the falsehoods and stinkin' thinkin' that can get in my own way of being the best person I was meant to be. I spend time today reflecting on now versus about seven months before I started SP. The reflection comes just days before I am to attend another friend's wedding. The last friend's wedding I went to was 2.5 years ago, serving as bookends around this time.
In looking back over these past ~two years and two couples' weddings, each uniquely beautiful in their own right, I am delighted to say that I've had some physical weight move, yet I've also had a deeper sense of mental weight move.
I feel more confident than the person that I was two years ago.
All this time, yes, I have been in classes to finish my bachelor's degree, and, by golly, I will be done this coming March, but--weddings of friends--what a lovely way to mark time.
I feel that I am less critical of myself. Less worried with other's opinions and more willing to "let my light shine". I go to a school which has narrative evaluation for granting credit. That is, no GPA. I have requested my GPA to be calculated so I can fill in the numeric field for computer applications for grad schools. I have released all anxiety around just what my GPA is/might be. Whatever it is, will be fine for me. Being without a GPA has been a liberating blessing to me. I just write, do my projects, and turn my work in on time. BREATHE. It is not all about the numbers.
There are intangibles, too, that come with this SP journey.
I am currently repeating a class. Humble pie, right? The same class was last attempted, yes, two years ago. Well--my grandmother's death and my older sister's cancer diagnosis and, later, treatment--all happened in quick succession two years ago.
I can look back over the last ~2 years with deep gratitude and a sly smile on my face. I am am blessed beyond belief.