Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I just donít get what is happening to me and my body. I lost a bunch of weight 4 years ago, managed to keep it off, and maintained around the same weight during those 4 years and now I canít stop the weight from returning. I am so confused and frustrated, but the good in all this is that ED hasnít returned but I am scared that if I donít find a way to keep the weight off it will not be long before he returns again.
Everything was going fine until I had my IUD removed on Match 13, 2010; that day at the doctors, I weighed 130 with clothes on. Then in June, I turned 35 and everything has just been going down hill from there. Is it hormonal, age, etc...? All I know is that I still workout everyday during lunch for about 45 min and have been eating the same I always have for the past 4 years. Sure, I am not purging, but I have been in recovery for almost 3 years so that shouldnít be a factor.
I decided I wanted to get back to 130 for myself confidence and my upcoming wedding in January, so I started logging my food again on SP and also upped my exercise to include additional exercise classes at my gym. Besides my daily lunch workouts, I am now going to 2-3 classes at night/weekend. The biggest change I made was a week ago when I started drinking water, not just some water but at least 64oz a day, sometimes even 80+Öbut now the scale went from 139/140 to 144 Ė yikes what is happening?
I am trying to stay calm and tell myself my body is just adjusting to the water change, but after a week shouldnít the water come out? I started contemplating over the counter diet pills, which I know donít work anyways and is just another way ED is trying to make his appearance.
I burn around 2300 cals a week according to my heart rate monitor and eat anywhere from 1400 cals a day to sometimes on the weekends splurging to 1900 cals; which isnít horrible enough to cause the weight gain? Per SP to lose the weight by my wedding in January I should consume no more then 1650, so most days I am staying under anyways.
Has anyone else had this kind of a problem before? I feel so frustrated and not sure what to do? I contemplated getting up and running in the mornings a couple days, but my boyfriend didnít seem too happy with that idea since I am ready at the gym everyday and he is afraid I am starting to get compulsive about my exercise again and next will fall back into the hands of ED, so I canít do that.