Monday, September 27, 2010
Thanks for the feedback on my last blog, guys.
Ironically, I did a weigh in the next day and had the scale register my lowest weight yet?!??
I do not understand my wacky body - it's as confusing as my wacky brain.
I also don't get why it's just surprise food that triggers me. If I bake and eat what I make, have it planned and am intentional, I do not get food guilt! I made fantastic brownies this weekend (seriously, the most PERFECT brownies I've ever eaten. The definitive perfect brownie for this gooey brownie lover) and ate my one serving happily, no guilt. I think it's all about control. I like to feel like I'm always in control and if I allow myself to eat something in a *controlled* way, I'm fine. If I eat mindlessly or on a craving, I wig. It needs to be planned! I need to have the numbers all worked out.
I want to work on that. I'm going to eventually have to stop tracking every thing I eat. I need to trust myself and try to eat intuitively. I've proven that I'm pretty good at keeping a stable weight, I've ranged from my lowest weight of 124ish up to 129ish in the last 9 months. That's pretty darn solid! Most of the time I spent in the 126-128 range. I should definitely be proud of that.
I also haven't had clothing get tight on me at all during that time. I've had items get looser due to changing body composition - many of my 4s are baggy and I'm in even small shirts now ... goodbye boobs - but I haven't had enough inches growth to change my sizes dramatically towards the larger. I'm leaning more to the 2 side of 2/4s I believe. Wow. I still sort of do a double take when I write that out. How in the heck did this happen again?
Anyway. I'm trying to even out. Eating enough for the last three weeks and having my exercise intensity drop a bit has been good for my moods. I definitely wasn't eating enough when I was doing all those long 3+ hour training runs and running 33-38 miles a week. I felt like death and was crabby and awful. Going to remember that in the future.
The EXCELLENT news:
My first 3.5 mile run on the foot went well. It was tender but not painful. No residual soreness, either. Going to ease into it and keep on biking while I work some shorter runs in this week. Do a couple 3-4 miles on soft ground and such.
I think I'll sign up for the 10K race this Saturday. I did that same race as my first (and only) 10K exactly one year to the day. It'll be a nice sort of circular path to run that race again as my second 10K. :) I jumped from 5Ks to 10 milers and half marathons so I just didn't race a lot of the shorter 10K distances. I like that mileage, 6.2 is enough to feel like you ran without it being a distance race where fuel and such comes into play. It'll be a nice little short race to get me back into marathon training mode - and I LOVE racing(!) so much(!!) that it'll be a great treat. :)
So, that's the plan. Two short 3-4 milers and a race on Saturday.
Oh, and stop freaking out so much. Gotta put that on the to do list...
Oh, and 'cause it's just CRUEL if I talk up the brownies and don't share...
Worth. Every. Calorie.
I use Ener-G egg replacer rather than an egg and screw that whole "makes 20 servings" thing. Tiny brownies are not my thing. I make a normal 9 servings and they are 180 calories, 6 grams fat. Which is not bad for a fudge brownie. And these are FUDGY. I want to make them again. Sob. Crinkly tops, chewy but soft edges and gooey middles? Brownie HEAVEN.