Monday, September 27, 2010
I went a month without a job, but that was intentional. I needed to time to rework my life. I have a new job at a call center. Normally I would be okay with the fact that I sit down all day for work because of my back pain. However, I am completely sedentary now. I have felt the weight creeping back, (I don't have access to a scale) and now I really feel coming back. This is the first time I have been on spark in months. My husband thinks I lost momentum and eventually gave up because I was frustrated over how much he has lost with such little effort. He may be partially right, but not completely. My mom moved in with us a few months ago when she was foreclosed on and my healthy diet went out the window. But I cannot blame her, she is just my excuse.
I hadn't exercised in a month before she came. And sure, the foods that she wants and demands are bad and the fights are stressful (I am an emotional eater), but I cannot blame her for my choices. I know that. I know that excuses are poor ways of justifying my own bad choices.
Anyway, I feel like such a failure. Why can I not stay on track? Am I really destined to be over 250 pounds for the rest of my life? I feel like giving up!