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A vision of the woman I strive to be

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I have about 30 different blogs running around in my head, screaming to get out. Unfortunately they all begin ranting while I am in the shower. I think, reflect and decide, “Yes, today I will blog about that.” And then the day happens. By the time I get to the computer to let them out, my thoughts are raw and I cannot even remember what I meant to write about in the shower that morning. Life has happened and kept me from my desired goal.

But maybe not. Maybe those mental rantings are productive in a way. Maybe they help me identify the person I want to be and the things I should focus on for the next few hours.

Much of this particular bend comes from being on a plane, by myself, heading to another client’s office to help them get control of information in their own organization. Normally there is not so much reflection on the plane, but today is different because today I said goodbye to a friend. Not a “dear” friend, but a friend nonetheless. This friend was young, only 46. Younger than her age because she has two lovely children who are only 5 & 3 – I believe that your age in part is directly related to the age of your children. Indeed, she was far too young to lose her battle with cancer – the indiscriminant killer.

It has made me stop and take pause – is my vision in line with the life I want? How do I want people to remember me? How do I want to live my life? What is my vision really? Sure, I want to dance, but isn’t that a goal? Maybe a few hours on a plane with a laptop and no internet connection is just what I need. There is no cardio here…

I want to be the Mom, Wife, Boss, Employee, and Co-worker that other kids, husbands, subordinates and bosses are envious of. I want to have other kids say to my boys, “Dude, your mom is awesome!” I want my husband’s friends to say “Dude, your wife is awesome!” – you get the idea. So what is that? What does that person look like, what do the friends and acquaintances of all of the people around me think is amazing? I don’t know – so I will start by writing down traits I think might be helpful:

1. Happy – looking at the bright side, even if it means I need to share some sunglasses

2. Supportive – I want to always “have their back” or to help them find their way, whichever is appropriate at the time

3. Adventurous – Exciting and Fresh, No ruts allowed. I will try new and different and be ok if things don’t quite work out.

4. Healthy – physically fit both in activity and diet, a sound, strong healthy person, (maybe even a little on the “sexy” side but don’t tell me mom)

5. Available – I want to be there when I am needed, even if I might not be in the room. I want to be attentive to their needs when they need me

6. Responsible – I want to take care of my business and not unload it on others or leave it behind like trash. If it is important that I do it, I should do it and do it with the respect it deserves.

7. Spiritual/Reflective – able to focus inward as much as outward to see my own value as part of the greater construct of the universe.

8. Team player – Although independence is an amazing trait, it is a far greater challenge to work as a cohesive part of a team.

I think I may have to redo my vision board. It seems I have the vision of the person I want to be here, and that the goals and visuals on my board should be organized to match. Or maybe, I just need to add a few more topics to my board.

PS - I might be missing some things. Please, point them out if you see them.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUBBLEJ1 9/28/2010 7:54AM

    Sorry about your friend, but as I said on your sparkpage, I hope you are having a good week even if it is just one good thing! All my blog ideas come to me in the shower too. I wonder if there is a waterproof laptop?

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COMPUCATHY 9/23/2010 11:14PM

    Sorry to hear of your friend's passing. That is definitely cause for reflexion and introspection. I think it is helping you see the "big picture" as death often has that effect. It makes what is really important come to light. I'm praying for you, spark friend, that you may find comfort, wisdom, clear thinking, and understanding. This is a time when your vision is going to be more clear than usual...it's good that you have taken the time to write it down. I love it. It is excellent. I hope you have a good Friday and great weekend! Keep sparking! emoticon emoticon

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FITXFORTY 9/22/2010 12:27PM

   
Beautiful Blog.

I wouldn't add a thing. what greater motivation than Life and Happiness......

susan
>

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ALEXANDRIA2007 9/22/2010 10:00AM

    It is always great to reflect on the type of person you want to be and this post was a great way to get that on "paper." Sorry to hear about your friend, death is difficult no matter the circumstances.

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EUPHRATES 9/22/2010 7:43AM

    Your friend's passing brought this video to mind. Check it out. It was the last public performance by a wonderful slam poet - I met her not quite 3 years ago, when she hosted several teams of poets to stay in her home who'd traveled to Buffalo for a poetry slam competition. She died of cancer a few short months after this was filmed, less than 6 months after being diagnosed.

http://www.youtube.com/watc
h?v=gePQuE-7s8c

Makes you evaluate a bunch. I know.
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