Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I was doing so well. Lately, though, I feel more depressed, more anxious, and am eating without thinking. Tonight I ate a bunch of chocolate, in addition to a bowl of popcorn. Some of it is anxiety about vending at the greyhound event. I don't know how much traffic I'll get at my location, I don't know how much people are spending in this economy, I don't know if I'm pricing my work appropriately. Basically, I'm feeling insecure and worried and even somewhat worthless. Those feelings are effecting my eating and my exercise. I did get out hiking with friends tonight, but it was hard to make myself go. I almost talked myself out of it, but my dogs really needed it, so I went for them.
My greyhound is recovering from her spay surgery, so I can't bounce around with her. She's such a funny dog, but I have to keep her restrained, just when I could really use her exuberance as an antidepressant. I called my doctor today and will see her next week. Perhaps we can adjust my meds, which I've been thinking about for at least a month or two. My depression feels like its worsening.
Sorry to winge on, but I'm really, really, feeling off track, and could use some encouragement.