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    GRYFFINSONG   7,196
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I'm Struggling Lately

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I was doing so well. Lately, though, I feel more depressed, more anxious, and am eating without thinking. Tonight I ate a bunch of chocolate, in addition to a bowl of popcorn. Some of it is anxiety about vending at the greyhound event. I don't know how much traffic I'll get at my location, I don't know how much people are spending in this economy, I don't know if I'm pricing my work appropriately. Basically, I'm feeling insecure and worried and even somewhat worthless. Those feelings are effecting my eating and my exercise. I did get out hiking with friends tonight, but it was hard to make myself go. I almost talked myself out of it, but my dogs really needed it, so I went for them.

My greyhound is recovering from her spay surgery, so I can't bounce around with her. She's such a funny dog, but I have to keep her restrained, just when I could really use her exuberance as an antidepressant. I called my doctor today and will see her next week. Perhaps we can adjust my meds, which I've been thinking about for at least a month or two. My depression feels like its worsening.

Sorry to winge on, but I'm really, really, feeling off track, and could use some encouragement.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MINOUKATZE 9/23/2010 12:22AM

    You're miles ahead already. You've recognized that your eating and habits are affected by your stress while it's going on, enough to catch it. You're taking charge of the problem. That is a big deal, and something most people with food issues don't recognize until after the fact. You're on your way.

All last week I succumbed to stress eating, knew it was going on but didn't stop myself. It's encouraging to me to see someone else taking the steps to control it!

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MTS1957 9/22/2010 10:37PM

    I think it's pretty cool that despite everything you made the choice to go hiking. What an achievement--you overcame a significant obstacle instead of just giving in; a true sign of growth and strength. Proud of you.

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SOULCOLLAGESUE 9/22/2010 9:37PM

    Our gift is in naming feelings with friends, which in itself can begin the healing process. Being heard is soooo important. Then, there are our furry angels. I, too, can drag myself out for my dog (who is waiting for me now); good for you! Bear in mind the season might be exacerbating emotions that are natural to this time of year. Also, if I might suggest, it being a current SoulCollage help for me, you might work with your Inner Critic card (or an image that represents the same). Tell her (or him) to go get a cup of tea and come up with some constructive feedback, or remain silent! Hugs to you, dear one. Sue

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SHAPECHANGER 9/22/2010 4:01PM

    Everyone here has given excellent advice. I'm sure you're feeling very stressed about the show, and that's understandable. I'm sure once it's over, you will be back on track. Just hang in there and do the best that you can. emoticon

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 9/22/2010 1:26PM

    Congratulations on getting out with friends and hiking. I know how hard it is to do anything when feeling anxious and depressed. I tend to withdraw as well when I'm hurting/depressed. I know you can get through this. It was just one day. One day will not make or break your lifestyle.

As for the pricing on the quilts. Have you tried googling or researching what other quilts sell for? Start with the price you'd like and have in mind the price you'd be able to settle for. That way you have room to bargain. Many people like to get a good "deal". As for the rest of the anxiety, do what you can today, maybe write down your fears and burn the paper. (I've found this useful in letting go of stress by releasing the worry into the environment as it were.) Then I can start to focus on the positive again.
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REJ7777 9/22/2010 1:10PM

    Congratulations going hiking, even when you didn't feel like it. You probably felt a lot better when you came back than when you left! The hardest thing is usually getting our foot out the door.

Anxiety is caused by uncertain goals. The greyhound event will be what it will be. Focus on what you CAN control and prepare as well as you can and then, just enjoy the event. It's useless to fret over things you have no control over.

You obviously love your greyhounds (what beautiful creatures!) and art (that quilt is magnificent!), so ENJOY the life you've chosen! Things will be what they will be. You can't control the future.

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ANNIEDS 9/22/2010 10:15AM

    I hope that writing down your feelings was a little cathartic.I have tended to, (still do), anticipate tough times and become very down. This is what I try to do. When I work really hard at it, it usually works.

You can do nothing about things that haven't happened yet so use some energy making sure that your goods will be displayed as attractively as possible and make sure that when you man your stall you look as 'up' as possible even if you don't feel it.

Comfort eating is making you feel worse, otherwise you would not have mentioned it, so try some distraction activities; take a dog out or have some cuddle time, (always helps me when I'm down), brush your teeth, have a bath...just anything, anywhere but the kitchen or sweetshop.

Keep blogging. Many of us have been where you are and you might find something that helps.

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Annie

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SUZIEGREY 9/22/2010 9:49AM

    I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I've looked at your work on your website and it is gorgeous, so I'm sure you will do well with it.

Keisha will be back on her feet soon and bouncing around and I'm sure that will lift you, in the meantime, try to get out walking with your friends and the other dogs. It's difficult to feel down when your outside with the dogs.

Good luck at the doctors.
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IMPROVINGME 9/22/2010 9:39AM

    Best wishes for a better week ahead.
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KALIGIRL 9/22/2010 8:29AM

    I am so sorry for your feelings of uncertainty. Your work is fabulous and I am sure it will do well.
Let us know all about it.

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1888MICHELLE 9/22/2010 7:58AM

    Breathe. You know your worth and value as an artist. Think of the hours and supplies that went into make those works of art. Price them accordingly. The passion will shine through.

Now...think of all the hours and supplies that went into making you a work of art. Price that accordingly and then realize your value and your worth. Honour yourself. Honour your needs. Get help from friends. Have a party. Go for a walk. Just make sure you are doing something for you.

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--KREN 9/22/2010 7:22AM

    Keep making those hiking and other social commitments with friends! Friends are those who pull you OUT and UP when you can't there yourself. I spend 90 min. twice a week in waterwork now, as opposed to only 30 min. once a week before, if that, because I have a friend who meets me at the pool.

When you begin to sink into yourself, you need someone outside your self to reach in and take hold! Karen

Comment edited on: 9/22/2010 7:23:47 AM

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STRINGS58 9/22/2010 6:51AM

    I hope a sunbeam finds you and helps to lift this. The expectations and hopes about the booth and vending are twisting things a bit. If this is what you'd like to do with your time, then why not enjoy the time? Just find out, kinda like opening a book and getting to know the characters. There may be a risk with booth rent, but there's a risk if you don't go for it! I'm glad you forced yourself to get out and hike. Learning to force yourself is a very important skill for consistency!
During recuperation, there's always youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHSM
dY7FYGA

Hope this cloud passes

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CJROARK 9/22/2010 5:31AM

    emoticon

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MRS_4EVER_AFTER 9/22/2010 3:52AM

  I am sorry you are feeling so down lately! I do hope that all goes well with your booth and with your Drs Appt. We all go through times like this when food is our comfort. It's ok. Realzing that you are doing it is the first step. It's hard to change that sort of pattern and takes time. You'll get there!

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SHELLPRO 9/22/2010 1:38AM

    emoticon Visit my Spark Pg. No matter how bad it gets, the Sparks usually are there to help. And there's always someong in worse shape than U think U R! Good Luck, and hope the Spay recovery moves along smoothly. U could be having "sympathy" pains? emoticon

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