For every day I feel like a "real" runner, there's another day when I'm sure my body was just not meant for athleticism and trying is only doing myself harm.

Sunday was that kind of day. My heart rate was just spiking up after what felt like 30 seconds of jogging, and I was running quite a bit slower than I usually do. I don't know what was going on--maybe the humidity? In any case, I took a lot of walking breaks and went half a mile less than I'd planned, and got home feeling like the world was ending.

I guess what really bugs me is how little control I have over whether I have a good run or a bad run. I'm a research person--before I do anything I want to read about it and watch other people do it, so that when I try I can do it RIGHT. But it seems like I can't do that with running. I can read about it and watch other people and get coaching and learn a whole lot, but when it comes down to actually using what I learn to run better? I'm lost. I just can't see any connection between what I know in my head, and what my body actually does.

I've got a race in five days now, my first 10k. I thought I was prepared--I've been training consistently for three months, steadily increasing my distance, doing plenty of stretching and strength training. But after this last run, I really have no idea how it could go. If the weather's perfect and everything goes right, it could be great. But if it's humid like it was yesterday? I will be coming in dead last if I finish at all. Ugh.

How do you runners deal with not being in control of how your race will go??