Friday, September 10, 2010
I am a HUGE fan of B. Scott (he's a radio, tv, and Youtube blogger who does fashion, celeb interviews and talks about personal issues like self love and acceptance). I'm a bit behind on viewing his YT channel so I went today and saw a video about getting your tens. Basically B. Scott was saying that when you watch figure skating or gymnastics and the athlete does such a fabulous, flawless job that the judges have to recognize it as such and give them a 10. Not a 9.9 but a 10. Well, B was like, too often in life we are afraid to tell someone to give us our 10. You do a GREAT job at work, go above and beyond...and no one gives you any feedback. Or you are putting that "S" on your chest and being a superhero for your kids, your partner, your friends and fam...and no one so much as says thank you. It makes you feel discouraged, disappointed and disillusioned. You try to shake it off, tell yourself they're just too busy or that's just their way...but the reality is a little recognition and appreciation would go a long way.
We're taught as little kids that its "impolite" to ask for compliments. I think there's a difference between fishing for compliments and seeking acknowledgement. If you KNOW you are doing/being/giving all you can and doing a damn good job of it too...there is NOTHING wrong with wanting that to be acknowledged, respected, reciprocated and appreciated. You aren't asking anyone to throw you a parade (but hey..maybe you deserve one) just a simple act of acknowledgement, be it in the form of a card, a small gift, or even a simple thank you. Just something to know your efforts are noticed and appreciated. Don't let having "good manners" stop you from getting your due. You don't have to be rude or aggressive or anything...just let it be known you think you deserve your 10.
Now...as I was all set to take the above advice and compiling my list of those who were holding out me...I stopped. My spirit spoke...and told me that it was all good and well that I wanted to RECEIVE...but I should also take care to make sure that I was GIVING as well. Too often we assume that the people in our lives just KNOW what they mean to us, how much we value them, how deep our love is and how much they matter. Maybe they do...but we should always tell them and show them anyway. You never know when they might be taken from you. And no one ever lost a loved one and regretted telling them too much and too often what they meant to them...but far too many regret not saying it enough. So I stopped, humbled myself a bit (just a bit) and started compiling a new list. A list of my essential people. You know..those people that make your light shine a little brighter, your spirit float a little higher and your heart feel a little lighter. The people that provide your center and your backbone. The MVP's on your life's roster.
I sought them out, one at a time. My parents, who I absolutely adore and have always let me know there isn't anything they wouldn't go through with or do for me. I gave them their 10. My older bro, who has always had my back and been an inspiration and a source of motivation (and sometimes aggravation lol) I gave him his 10. My girlfriends...who have stood by me through 11 years of school, boyfriends, babies, breakups, make ups, drama, good times, weddings, funerals and all things in between. They got their 10's. My Ethan...the man who amazes me on the daily and by being such a good man has made me even better woman...he got his. And the thing is...I think I felt better giving the people in my life their props than I would have had I went merely seeking mine. And...in giving I actually DID end up receiving. Every single person let me know what I meant to THEM. I didn't ask for them...but I got my 10's too.
I truly believe there is a connection with our mind, body and spirit. If your mind is weak and your spirit is damaged, the body will show it. If your mind is strong and your spirit is lifted, your body will respond. Losing weight is so much more than counting calories and crunching abs. We have to find ourselves and our centers and that means getting honest about ourselves, our situations and those in our lives. You can't have a healthy body with a sick soul.
So as you go on to this journey to healthier you...think about not only who may owe you a 10 but whether or not YOU are holding out on anyone. Have your told your bff lately just how much they rock? Have you told your family (be it your biological or that which you've created) how much they mean to you? Have you told your partner how freaking fantastic you think they are? Have you said it...have you showed it? If not...go forth and give out your 10's. And if you aren't getting what it is you need and deserve, remember that there is nothing shameful, disrespectful or tacky about asking for it.