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    BUNSI_FIDGET   12,488
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10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
 
 
9/7/10 pre-blc14

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I'm preparing myself for another weight loss journey. The biggest loser challenge helped me lose 50 pounds the last time I did it and I should never have put it on hold. Putting the new lifestyle I had created, on hold, was my biggest downfall. And of course the disappointment I felt towards myself spiraled me so far back that i buried it deep in my mind. I tried not to think about it, and we all know that not thinking about our problems does not make them go away. If you don't read the labels it doesn't mean that those calories you just consumed don't exist. The fact is, I can't lose weight and just have it be gone forever, I have to constantly remind myself that everyday counts, and every day means for the rest of my life.
The truth is, when i'm at my worst point I can just eat all day, not because i'm hungry, but because i'm bored, or frustrated, or stressed. Sometimes i feel like eating is the only thing i can get accomplished during the day. Thats a good way to put it, I never really looked at it that way and thus why writing these feelings down is a great way to see these types of patterns. Anyway, I am at that low point now, snacking and eating more meals than one needs in a day. and this is when i'm most motivated to make a change.
I do well on exercising though, I do kickboxing a couple times a week and i did the couch to 5k, I lost track of what week i'm in because i've just been doing what i feel i can at this point. And i have by far exceeded my own expectations and i'm definitely proud of myself for what i have accomplished. I celebrate mile stones with a pat on the back and a way to go girl :) I can run 2 miles without stopping now and last i checked i did that in 25 minutes. My average mile is about 12 min, but i surprised myself one day when i did it in 9.5 min!
So my biggest struggle right now would be my intake. I need to cut a lot of things out, and practice portion control. It would be nice to lose some weight with all this running i've been doing, but i've been sabotaging myself and it is time to S.T.O.P! so that is what I'm expecting to get out of this next challenge, my self control, my dignity. i know that i WILL be able to rock this challenge! :)
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