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    ONLY1LIFETOLOSE   9,015
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Dealing with life and loss

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I lost my father this year. It was in April,, which seems so far away now. I was doing real good about it until this last weekend. My son and I went out for a quick bike ride. There are some great trails right outside of our back yard. As we were riding, my son had a minor wreck. nothing that would cause permanent damage but a pretty hard fall anyway. I sat with him while he caught is breath. In that moment while sitting in the hot sun trying to shade my son and check his various bumps and bruises it hit me how many times my father had done the same for me. the difference being he would have been able to pick me up and carry my back home. In that instant it really hit me that he was gone and that my son never had the chance to know the real man he was. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's over 9 years ago. My son never got to see him before he was ill.
Weird how something like that can hit you all of a sudden. My son was eventually able to get back up and ride carefully back home. We found a shortcut to pavement which sped things up. The whole trip back I pointed out some of the different flowers and trees I recognized. I shared the goofy names my father had for those plants with my son. I figured out that I needed to share some of those stories with him so he could get to know who his grandpa really was.
Of course my dad would be the first to kick me in the rear and tell me to quit sobbing over him and get on with my life. so, I guess that is what I need to keep doing.
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