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    MAZZALIN   13,494
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

Putting a positive spin on a negative feeling.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I am feeling very disappointed right now so I'm coming here to share it so I don't wear it. It is now 10 days until my 60th birthday and I will not be at my goal as I thought I would. BUT, I am 6 days back on track with my food and going strong.

About 5 yr. ago I lost over 100 lb. on GS (GS = Greysheet, a 12 step program of recovery, is their website if anyone is interested in looking it up) and maintained the loss for several years. Since going off GS, I have gained about 30 lb. and have struggled to get back to goal.

For a long time when I reached goal I had ONE SIZE of clothing in my closet (just one of the many benefits of GS). In the past few years I have accumulated about 5 sizes of clothing in my closet and now NOTHING else will fit on the rack. So, yesterday I decided to go through the closet and get rid of clothes I'll never wear and also take out the clothes that don't fit that I want to get back into and pack them away. This was a badly needed reality check. It was very sad to look at some of the clothes and be shocked that I even fit into them. They look like child- size clothing yet yes indeed I did fit into them. I went from a size 20-22 to a size 4-6 and am now a size 12. No, it's not awful and I'm grateful that I have not regained all my weight but I was truly shocked when I held up some of the clothing and thought "I got into THAT?".

So, the positive spin is that I KNOW that GS works. I KNOW that I will get back into those clothes. I will be able to go into my closet and wear the clothes that are there. I will have a clean closet sometime soon. I will be thankful that I have not regained all my weight. I will be thankful that I have a solution to this problem. And more than anything else I KNOW that I will reap so many more benefits from GS than the weight loss;)

Today I will finish cleaning my closet and right now I can actually walk in and see some space between the hangers. I kept the size 10's because I know that they are borderline fitting right now and will fit soon. I took all the 4's, 6's and 8's and packed them in a storage bin but they will be accessible as I WILL be getting back into these soon.

I am so grateful today to be living in a solution.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CHAIBO 2/23/2011 11:15AM

    I put on 140 lbs in a 2 years span after been "clean and sober" on greysheet for 5 years. I have lose 30 of it but still struggle with the obsessions. I need to get back to greysheet but am fighting it like a rabid dog. Your post is inspirational even though you feel like you are disappointed in yourself. So thank you. And I have 8 sizes of clothes in my closet. I keep hoping I can throw away the current one but it hasn't happened yet. Even with 30 lbs gone!

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MAZZALIN 9/7/2010 12:39PM

    Thanks guys for the encouragement!

Brendie, if you go to you will find the locations for face to face meting and there is a schedule for phone meetings. HTH.

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BRENDIE33 9/7/2010 10:32AM

  You will be an inspiration to many----I am interested in greysheet also----live in so. California--is there a group near the San Fernando?

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DESERT_BIRD 9/7/2010 9:23AM

    I hear ya. I've been going through my closet also. I haven't packed away the smaller sizes though...just getting rid of the clothes I'll never wear again...maybe I should do that.

emoticon emoticon

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NANCY- 9/7/2010 7:44AM

    You are amazing. Even though you are disappointed... you are forging ahead with a plan. You will achieve whatever you set out to do,

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CINDYMCD1 9/7/2010 7:34AM

    I have an array of sizes in my closet as well. It's time for a cleanup for me too! Best wishes on your journey!

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DONNABRIGHT 9/7/2010 7:16AM


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