Tuesday, September 07, 2010
I am feeling very disappointed right now so I'm coming here to share it so I don't wear it. It is now 10 days until my 60th birthday and I will not be at my goal as I thought I would. BUT, I am 6 days back on track with my food and going strong.
About 5 yr. ago I lost over 100 lb. on GS (GS = Greysheet, a 12 step program of recovery, greysheet.org is their website if anyone is interested in looking it up) and maintained the loss for several years. Since going off GS, I have gained about 30 lb. and have struggled to get back to goal.
For a long time when I reached goal I had ONE SIZE of clothing in my closet (just one of the many benefits of GS). In the past few years I have accumulated about 5 sizes of clothing in my closet and now NOTHING else will fit on the rack. So, yesterday I decided to go through the closet and get rid of clothes I'll never wear and also take out the clothes that don't fit that I want to get back into and pack them away. This was a badly needed reality check. It was very sad to look at some of the clothes and be shocked that I even fit into them. They look like child- size clothing yet yes indeed I did fit into them. I went from a size 20-22 to a size 4-6 and am now a size 12. No, it's not awful and I'm grateful that I have not regained all my weight but I was truly shocked when I held up some of the clothing and thought "I got into THAT?".
So, the positive spin is that I KNOW that GS works. I KNOW that I will get back into those clothes. I will be able to go into my closet and wear the clothes that are there. I will have a clean closet sometime soon. I will be thankful that I have not regained all my weight. I will be thankful that I have a solution to this problem. And more than anything else I KNOW that I will reap so many more benefits from GS than the weight loss;)
Today I will finish cleaning my closet and right now I can actually walk in and see some space between the hangers. I kept the size 10's because I know that they are borderline fitting right now and will fit soon. I took all the 4's, 6's and 8's and packed them in a storage bin but they will be accessible as I WILL be getting back into these soon.
I am so grateful today to be living in a solution.