Saturday, September 04, 2010
Every kid loves summer vacation but growing up I was also excited about returning to school. Back then I wouldn't haven't articulated it the same way, but I know now that school provided a kind of haven for me, a place where I could imagine and excel. School meant being with friends and supported by adults who cared about me.
I see fall as a beginning, a time of year when things are both exciting and familiar. Now that I'm older, fall means slowing down and enjoying the changes in season. I'm more aware and appreciative of the passage of time. In the fall I'm keenly aware of when the sun rises and falls. I feel the change in temperature in my bones. I anticipate the comfort foods I love this time of year and there's a bit of anxiety and anticipation concerning the holidays.
The fall is a time of slowing down and things dying but for me there are new stirrings. In the fall I take stock of how the year has gone. I contemplate if I feel stronger and better about what I did that year. This year I'm at the midway mark of my weight loss goal and there are some areas I'm frankly failing at. In terms of my weight, the biggie is tracking. I suck eggs at it. I'm comfortable with what I'm eating but if I want to continue to lose I'm going to have to track and plan. Organization and structure might as well be aliens from another planet in my world. The likelihood of me meeting ex terrestrials are higher than me successfully planning and journaling daily.
My goal this season is to learn to be methodical and organized and I'm not feeling confident at all. I'm a lot of things but no one has ever said organizational skills and goal-setting were among my strengths. I am more confident and excited about adding new classes and routines to my workouts. Simplifying. De-cluttering my life. I don't want to stall but slow down and enjoy what really matters: plugging in to places and with folks I love, enjoying a good cup of coffee, meditating and laughing more with the kidlet.
School starts Tuesday so I'll be returning, too. I still worry that I'm losing the battle when it comes to imparting to my daughter a love of reading and learning; she'd rather go to the mall. ((sigh)) but I think we're finding a groove at home and it will be a better school year. This fall I want to find a way to balance guiding my daughter through the school year while meeting my own personal health goals and enjoying early evenings curled up on the couch reading a good book.