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    RAYLINSTEPHENS   242,834
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints

You look great! But....

Saturday, September 04, 2010

what are you doing about the loose skin?

Today's blog comes from a recent comment (last night) about how I don't need to lose more weight - I look great - maybe too skinny....

... then the kicker, "what about all that loose skin?"

I said, "I'm just leaving it hanging." This got me to thinking of silly answers we can give when asked such a stupid and hurtful question.

I could have said, "I'm listing it on eBay!" My walking buddy offered, "what loose skin?"

So here is your chance - what would you like to say to insensitive questions like this?

**No, just for the record, I wasn't hurt or upset. My double chin is getting smaller and I can wear sleeves and slacks if the rest bothered me too much. I am what I am. I decided that no matter how hurtful people might choose to be - I am still in a size 4 and no one can take that away from me - - - but me.

Another spark-buddy told me that when she was hefting a 50 lb bag of feed the other day, she realized that I had put down almost 2 bags of feed that I had been carrying with me on a daily basis! Wow, how's that for an eye-opener! She said that she is tired of carrying a bag of feed every step she takes!! She too is back on track!

Whatever it takes Spark-Buddies! Whatever it takes, whatever works for you!

EDIT: for belly fat, start practicing T T I - Tuck Tummy In. Sitting, standing walking - just suck it in for all you're worth. It becomes habit before you know it and it works the stomach muscles. Better than a girdle! As a fat kid, my mother was telling me T T I for as far back as I can remember - and I still do it!

For the arms - you need to be using weights and doing tricep exercises - these can be found in the SP Fitness Tracker. Any weights - even light ones will work those muscles. But as a fat kid, I have always had "wings" so I guess I am just used to them. Don't like them but I can live with them.

EDIT: this was my BIL and I know he was just being himself - he doesn't realize how it can hurt. Thankfully it didn't hurt because I have been prepared mentally for several months now. I have read articles by Coach_Dean and even he mentions having loose skin and no, it didn't look any better full of fat.

Loose skin will not kill me but carrying around an extra 95 lbs of weight very well could have.
emoticon emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
OUBACHE 9/10/2010 9:38PM

    I'm happy to have stumbled upon your page after seeing your post to a new member on the community welcome pages. I am amazed at your fabulous success, postive outlook, and well, everything! The timing is perfect because I was feeling really discouraged today. Well, that won't get me anywhere, but exercise and determination will. Thanks. You are an inspiration (but I'm guessing you've probably have heard that a few times before)!


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STUCKER8 9/9/2010 6:35PM

  Just think of your extra arm skin as Angel Wings...somehow that makes it seem much nicer :) I think you look fabulous, you have a lot to be proud of!! And you are an angel of inspiration to others. emoticon

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SMB19191405 9/9/2010 10:54AM

    What a great attitude. I think you look fantastic and give the rest of us hope! I'll take saggy skin over fat anyday! That's what I'd of said! With your workout routine - you may find that skin disappearing anyway. I know we are all very proud of what you've accomplished - keep up the great work!

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    Loose skin & stretch marks are drop dead sexy compared to feed bags of fat!

You look HOT HOT HOT!!!

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CINDYC53 9/9/2010 12:57AM

    What a great blog! You have a fantastic outlook. That person was probably jealous - but you are awesome to not let that comment puncture your balloon!

Thanks for sharing this. It made my day! (And thanks for the tummy tucking reminder :)

emoticon emoticon

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FABAT402009 9/8/2010 11:05PM

    I hope when I get to my goal weight I remember that's important, not any left over stretch marks or other flaws.

I read on the BL website a man's testimonial after loosing 100 pounds, he has a little loose skin now but for the most part his body adjusted after a couple of years of maintaining his new weight.

With that said I would tell my BIL a thing or two. lol

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TEENY_BIKINI 9/8/2010 10:49PM

    You are so awesome - it is simply amazing. I love your outlook. I love your positivity. I love your grace.

You really handled that well. And the wealth of information you are helping people find and understand is nothing short of awesome.

Everyone is lucky you are here.

Great. Great. GREAT!!!


Thank you.

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SOPHIADARE 9/8/2010 10:21AM

    How about the direct method for a comeback to 'What are you doing about the loose skin?'

"I like this size, so I'm going to wear the loose skin as a badge of success."

If the person has been particularly intrusive, it might be necessary to go on to ask them what they're going to do about the foot in their mouth. In general, I prefer to avoid going on the attack if I can disengage. Since it sounds as if you think the person was truly clueless rather than playing a one up/one down game, disengagement seems about right.

Thans for a really GREAT topic, Linda! When my weight was down at 150, the loose skin did bother me. It still bothers me the way some of my skin sags because I'm below my top weight, but you are so right that, overall, I don't look better when the skin is filled with fat. Overall, I look better when I'm healthy at the lower weight, even if the skin does sag.

E Westcott is right when she says that it is normal for our skin to sag as we age. It's just part of growing older.

Your remark about preferring to carry the skin loose than filled is a good one. Any remark that basically tells the other person that their opinion about your body is not invited works.

Thanks again!

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MEADSBAY 9/7/2010 12:51PM

    I have NEVER seen a woman around our age who didn't have saggy or wrinkly skin on arms and legs- no matter how fat, skinny, or formerly fat they were.
We need to accept our imperfect but healthy bodies (and wear half sleeves).

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LIVING-BETTER 9/7/2010 2:11AM

The BIG FEAR.....
Well, i suppose being very well hydrated drinking plenty of water helps too with loose skin.

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GRALLEN 9/6/2010 8:10PM

    I think your success is awesome and I'm glad you are here to encourage the rest of us on.

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SUEBAKER3 9/6/2010 1:50PM

    I think when people say things like that they are first of all jealous and second insensitive. Even if BIL isn't overweight he could be jealous of you determination and commitment to reach your goal. I wouldn't have been bothered by his comment either. Although I am a bit sarcastic, so I may have asked him what he was going to do about his receding hairline or some other flaw he has no control over. But, that's just me. I agree with NOTABOUTTHEFACE, wear it as a badge of courage. You have accomplished so much! emoticon

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    It's a badge of honor. Wear it with pride!

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    Excellent blog and good advice. Sorry that your BIL was insensitive. I guess it all just takes time and determination. Love ya, Dawn emoticon

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JEAN_WIKE 9/5/2010 11:34AM

  TTI - I will try to remember, it's a great tip, thanks.

"mentions having loose skin and no, it didn't look any better full of fat". You're right! I hope I remember this when I have loose skin.


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LIFES*2*SHORT 9/5/2010 11:22AM

  hahaha... I love the listing it on ebay comment. That is totally something that I can use one day. I'm sarcastic like that... but you already knew that. lol I'm proud of your accomplishments. Aren't you thankful that God sees us for WHO we are... not WHAT we look like? God bless ya girl!

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TIPYRAIN 9/5/2010 1:58AM

    This was great!

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    I don't have any comebacks...I'm really slow when it comes to that sort of thing.

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FOXXYROXXYD 9/4/2010 5:30PM

    I only HOPE that my loose skin looks as good as yours when I'm done... right now it looks pretty bad - especially my belly and arms! YOU look amazing! Congratulations on you success and your loose skin! So much healthier than the fat-filled skin! Thanks for giving me home!

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WALKINGANNIE 9/4/2010 5:19PM

    "For the first time in a long time, I'm comfortable in my own skin."

(I sense that you are!)

emoticon emoticon

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MRS.DOYLE 9/4/2010 4:17PM

    If you were feeling really evil. you could say "What are you doing about that excess fat?"

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MARTY19 9/4/2010 4:03PM

    Sometimes I just have to walk away. Later I think of a comeback, but not at the moment. I think for me it is just better to say nothing and walk away. I won't stoop to that level.

Love you

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KAREN42BOYS 9/4/2010 2:47PM

    Sometimes people need to hear themselves. I might be tempted to ask her if she wanted a do-over because her question came out kind of mean.

Or maybe turn it around. Say you are not planning to do anything, but what would she do. Because really that question is more about her issues than yours.

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SLENDERELLA61 9/4/2010 2:39PM

    I was just reading that for some people skin continues to tighten up for up to two years after the weight loss. And if not, so what. Thoughts and possible responses:

Would I rather my skin be filled with fat?

I'm not vain enough to have surgery.

I lost my weight so slowly that I have very little loose skin.

I'm hoping whalebone corsets come back in style.

I've heard that batwings will become fashionable in 2012.

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ASTORRES1 9/4/2010 1:04PM

    Sorry hubby was logged in SPARK....and I didn't realize that I was under his when answering blogs......OOPS!!!!!!!


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TONYTORRES123 9/4/2010 12:45PM

    It amazes me what some people have the guts to say.....glad you have some good answers......You are doing amazing work...don't stop.


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GOALIEGRANDMA3 9/4/2010 12:31PM

    " My loose skin will tighten up eventually, but you will still be fat, ughly, mean, whatever".

I personally thought you looked quite toned in your new photos.

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KAREN8WORCESTER 9/4/2010 11:38AM

  Here are a few more for you-

Would you like some, I'm willing to share.

I thought I'd try to sell it at my next yard sale.

I was thinking of donating those parts of my body for medical science BEFORE I die.

I think I'll hold onto it in case I ever get burned and need a skin graft.

And my favorite-My insurance won't pay to have it removed, so I'd be happy to accept any donation that you'd like to make to the cause.

emoticon Be happy and don't let any "well-meaning" (or not) people throw you off. emoticon

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GOGOSHIRE 9/4/2010 11:34AM

    Unless it was asked by someone who is afraid to lose weight because of the fear of loose skin (and there are plenty of people like that) and they just worded it poorly, the comment can be chalked up to insecurity. When people feel bad about themselves, they often think one way to feel better is to knock down someone who is feeling great about herself.

But you can't be knocked down.

So I guess if it were me that had fielded that comment, I'd first determine if the question was truly in earnest or not. If in earnest, then I'd answer it earnestly, but if not, I'd ignore it. It was never for me; the person was just trying to feel better about him/herself by trying to knock me down a little. Hopefully one day, s/he finds a better way to feel good, but in the meantime, it's got nothing to do with me, so I'd ignore it.

Have a great day today! You look FANTASTIC!

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