Friday, September 03, 2010
I was actually thinking of the times I have embarked on yet another weight loss journey.I was always determined, always upbeat about it ;that for a moment I really thought I was going to make it.The journey usually ended up with me giving up after losing about 20 lbs or so.I never gave myself any credit for how far I had gone,I would quit the journey and go back to the comfort of my fatness.I would never wonder far enough to believe that I was worthy..I still harbour a lot of fear to venture and be the best me I can be.I have lots of confidence that is misdirected at proving to other people that I am worthy.The person I have not convinced as yet is the one inside of this body. I fear being slim ,it scares me to death to think about the attention I will get when I do slim down.I fear being exposed ,I fear of how I could let it get to my head.I also fear that I will not be able to achive losing the weight but not be able to sustain it.I am not a showy person ,no, I like to be safe in numbers ,to be acknowledged but not stand out. This time I am determined to believe that I can be slim and I can handle being noticed.
It is time to acknowledge that I am worthy of all the good things that happen to me.I am starting to document my progress through pictures to remind myself of how far I have come and how far I will go.When hard times come I will meet them head on and venture a little further .Thomas Edison once said:'Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they werer to success when they gave up" .As a South African language says Ke nako( It is time).Happy Sparking..